oh the esotericism

twinkle

2010-10-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

so classes have been quite interesting to say the least. i currently have to endure 4 hours of pharmacology DAILY, a subject i'm pretty sure i do not have a flair for because i spend about 2 of the 4 hours with a puzzled expression on my face before going off into my own world. :) i AM trying though! i really am but there're so many distracting things everywhere. heh. the roomie, Vampboy and i made a trip to Moscow on thursday for some dinner at the embassy. we spent 7 hours getting there, then about 6 hours at the embassy and another 7 hours on the bus getting back from moscow. it was quite interesting i must say coz we got to meet the Ministry of youth & sports and a deputy minister from the prime minister's department. the Minister's speech was full of ass-licking comments about how students who study in russia are awesome and super hardcore because we can survive russian winter whereas Napoleon apparently couldn't and all that kinda stuff. then yesterday night, a bunch of us went out to a local jazz bar which was quite nice but imo the dude should've just stuck to playing the guitar because his "singing" was in fact moaning some inaudible words into the mic. i'm not even sure if it was english or russian to be honest. so this was just some random verbal diarrhoea because i just suddenly felt that it's been a little TOO long since i blogged. so till next time, cheers. :)

this is my teenage dream

2010-09-17T23:50:00.000-07:00

i woke up at 9.30am on a saturday morning and felt a bit lost. i didn't know what to do with so much time on my hands till the open house and honestly, it's now 10.53am and i still don't know what to do. i've actually been youtubing crappy videos online and i'm stalking people on fb to see if they use shoulder pads in the baju kurungs coz mine makes me look like a slightly more feminine purple robocop AND it has sequins on it. i mean is it too much to have sequins on a kurung? as you can see, i'm a tad insecure about my baju kurung now. shit. =\

ok there's something i've been wanting to get out there for quite a while now. a few days ago, it was Malaysia Day. i think it was the first time it was properly celebrated and the people were given a National Holiday. i actually thought it was pretty nice of the government to actually celebrate Malaysia Day properly and honestly speaking, it WAS about time considering we wouldn't be the Malaysia we are today without Sabah and Sarawak, though i'm sure somehow some people are using it as a political ploy to gather votes. if only life wasn't always about politics and self-gain when it comes to these things.

so anyway, at this point of time, i'm a bit fed up of being made to feel guilty everytime i profess my love for my country. if only i had a dollar for everytime i'm shot down when i tell people i actually love Malaysia. it's not like i'm not pissed off at the way the country is run or how we're made to feel like second-class citizens most of the time. there are things i don't like about Malaysia of course. i don't like how everything has a quota and how deserving students are denied opportunities regardless of race sometimes. i think the whole "if you know someone on the inside everything boleh" mentality when it comes to scholarships is crap because people who can afford it are usually the ones getting all these scholarships and those who can't are left uneducated or paying through their nose for loans they can't afford. honestly, HOW IS IT the government cannot afford to give out more scholarships and are therefore cutting the amount given out considerably but YET they can afford to pay millions for the new istana? i mean seriously, does the royal family REALLY need a new abode? =.= then there's the whole issue about special rights and blablabla.

so yea, i get pissed too but i don't think the ONLY thing the country is good for is the food. we're so much more than just our gastronomic offerings. sure, there are more things to be pissed off at then being proud of most of the time. i just feel that sometimes people who say they hate malaysia are seeing things from only one perspective. of course, this is all personal opinion. John F. Kennedy once said "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country". but then again, if the country doesn't provide for the people and make the people feel snubbed half the time, then i guess it doesn't really apply. SEE. this is why i put off writing about this because i'm contradicting myself, as i usually do. on one hand, i feel patriotic and all this pride for my country but at the same time, i feel pissed off at all the propagandas and missed opportunities that comes with not being of the "right" race. honestly, i feel like a traitor for loving malaysia sometimes. a typical scenario would be me going " i actually like malaysia and it's home" followed by people going " malaysia sucks la.", "malaysia damn useless" blablabla. then when people say singapore is so much better off because they're government is so much better, i get offended but what's there to defend? in a way it's true but it's like people trashing someone you hold dear and eventhough you know they're right, you defend that person.

i'm just really frustrated. it's true Malaysia is not all it's cracked up to be,where race-ridden and dirty politics are prevalent. BUT? i don't even know what's my "but". is there even a "but"? i guess there're no proper explanations to why i love my country. it just occured to me that it's now my generation's turn to step up. unfortunately, i think most of my generation harbors the racism, frustration and bitterness of the previous generation which of course, does nothing for the country. i remember asking a friend why she wasn't going to go to another country to work or what not and she said " if everyone leaves the sinking boat, who's going to stay, to row and save it?" if as a generation we create another racist and frustrated generation, doesn't that make descend into chaos all the more inevitable?

i am grateful that i've never had to experience a war, that i've never been taught to crouch under tables in the fear of having buildings collapse during an earthquake, that there aren't any political riots or any huge riots for that matter, that not all the people in my generation want to jump ship the minute a door opens. i don't actually believe that i'm the only one who believes in Malaysia and it's potential but i was told i was just someone who probably had more faith than everyone else. i don't know la. i just want to be able to say i love my country without being made to feel guilty or like i've betrayed my race. maybe it's because i'm still young and not even half as jaded as everyone else. screw it. it's a free world and i'm allowed to love Malaysia as much as i want and i don't think i deserve to be shot down just because i don't believe in hating her. so yea, i guess i'll just have to deal with the guilt on my own and continue believing that someday more people will love than hate Malaysia.

this is all i have to say

2010-09-12T04:14:00.000-07:00

i have decided that it won't stop me from doing what i want or love! so i'm back to blogging! :)

Kau yang punya

2010-07-13T12:50:00.000-07:00

so the last time i actually said anything here, i had 13 days left on the countdown before going home. and now, i have only THREE FREAKING DAYS LEFT. shit. the past 10 days have actually been a bit of a blur. there were a few things that were slightly out of the ordinary routine though. honestly, i am so exhausted already. that happy excited feeling of seeing blood and needles have all gone. :/ so i guess i understand why my GP looks so bored with life. i guess he's taken enough blood, Xrays and measured enough blood pressures to last many lifetimes. sigh. will i be like that one day? i really hope not but in a way it's sort of inevitable right? oh well, clock just struck 12 which officially means i have TWO more days before i get on a plane to Dubai then back to KUALA LUMPUR! :) say all you want about malaysia, it's home and there is no other place in the world like it. ok need to crash now. ciao.

p.s: has anyone else noticed how the malaysian music scene is thriving in a way? so awesome. on another note, i refuse to believe that i cannot rock the red lipstick look! hmmph.

under my bed

2010-07-04T05:01:00.000-07:00

so i'm finally done with exams and the last minute St.Petersburg trip. i'm about 4 days into my practicals at the cardiology department of the local geriatric hospital. the old people are so sweet i tell you. i think i really like old people. they're all so cute. :) but then again, they're not so cute when they're in the buses and all. but yea, old people FTW. heh. i was actually sort of hoping i got the pediatric hospital though coz children are pretty cute too. but i guess i'd get pretty fed up with all the crying and whatnot.

the past 2 weeks have been crazy. all the studying for my biochemistry exam was intense. i couldn't take the pressure and broke down into tears about 5 hours before my exam. multiple times, i might add, which was really annoying coz then my eyes started becoming tired and wasted valuable study time by sleeping. however about 1 hour to exam, i sort of gave up and decided to just pray about it and leave it to God. so yea, exam was good. :D after that allnighter, we had to plan our trip to St.Petersburg. the trip was so last minute, it was a bit annoying and frustrating to tell you the truth. ST.PETERSBURG IS SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL. :) seriously. so amazing. i reckon i'll be really bored during summer in the afternoons so maybe i'll do a travel series thingymajig. not like i've been to many places but it's just a thought.

i can't believe i'm going back in 13 days! time passes by so fast when you're away from home. it's mindboggling. it's 4.10pm and i'm tired. so.. time to nap and then wake up and waste my time away by watching crappy videos and cooking chicken rice for the nurses at my department tomorrow. :D ciao.

but you're yesterday's child to me

2010-06-16T00:52:00.000-07:00

pancakes, maple syrup, coffee and a little jazz thrown in makes a very very relaxing and awesome Wednesday morning. :) but then the stack of biochem notes i have to study and memorize makes for a not so perfect wednesday afternoon. i have 7days till my last exam and then i'm done wtih 2nd year of MedSchool. CAN YOU IMAGINE? time flies by so fast. in 3 months, i will be in 3rd year and 2 months away from being 19. i feel old yet incredibly young at the same time. perhaps it's because i hang out with people slightly and much older than i am. good thing or bad? i can't decide because on one hand, i've been hanging out with people older than i am since primary school when i decided to skip a grade (people one year older do count as being older right?!) so i probably don't really feel like they're older than i am. i must admit, i sometimes forget my age. :( but then sometimes, i wonder whether i missed out on doing all the stupid stuff people do when they're young because i matured too fast for my own good. oh wait. it just dawned upon me that whatever stupid things people do when they're 17, i did too! just that i was 16 when i did it. so YAY! no youth lost. except being here in Russia, i wonder whether i'm wasting my youth away. 6 years of med school and whatnot. when i graduate i'll be 23. is that old? most of the older folks will probably tell me that being a doctor at 23, the world is my oyster. i really hope i'm not completely drained of energy or hope and that i'm not completely cynical or jaded yet. coz i think that's pretty sad, don't you think? being jaded at 23 will probably suck.

on a happier note, 4 WEEKS BEFORE I HEAD BACK HOME TO HUMID WEATHER AND FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND FOOD. ZOMG food!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D will definitely be smiling for days after exam. :) ok. ciao.

how the heart grows wicked

2010-06-11T04:53:00.000-07:00

okay i feel a lot better now. things that shouldn't be in my system are in it. ok i just made myself sound like a total druggie. i'm not! promise! :) so yea i wonder whether everyone goes through the same feelings like i do, that whole updownroundandround emotional roller coaster that i do, or am i supposed to trust those rom-com superficial movies that everyone's always happy in life, relationships, friendships and the lot? seriously. somebody tell me already.

Lettre A F

2010-06-11T04:23:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wonder whether i'm cut out for this. for all of this. it's been a long time by anybody's standards. i know that along any road there's bound to be bumps and bruises but maybe i'm done with these bumps. am i supposed to feel this way? i just feel like the longer it is, the more i realize that i'm still so young. there's so much i want to do. there's so many things i want to see. alone. i don't enjoy the guilt-trips i take everytime it crosses my mind. but how do i tell people what i feel without breaking their heart? i feel like the dynamics of every aspect in my life has changed. perhaps i don't want the same things i did back when i was 16. perhaps i'm just going through one of those phases where i get bored with everything in my life. what if i remain this fickle for the rest of my life? maybe it's post-exam stress and depression. i really don't know. i don't know what i want and where i want to be anymore.

you take my battles away

2010-06-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

1 exam done - russian.
2 russian boys that MissMarvell and I met on the bus on friday. ;)
3 more exams to go: namely Physiology, Biochemistry and Philosophy
4 shirts stolen by some random. :(
5 more saturdays before i go home.
6 more days till my Physiology exam.
7 days till the next episode of sytycd
8 days till NEW trueblood episodes.

i shall go study now. :) BYE.

bewildered

2010-05-31T10:18:00.000-07:00

so obviously the whole world is basically going on about the whole Israel-flotilla issue. everybody's taking sides which i find really crappy. firstly, i know this is a really shitty thing to say but i think the Israeli soldiers had the right to try and stop the flotilla because they DID repeatedly warn them not to enter the area. please NOTE that by saying this, i am in no way condoning what they have done. i don't think they should've opened fire regardless. there's a video that has been surfacing of an Israeli soldie warning Mavi Marmara to dock at a neighbouring harbour. the dude goes on to say that Israel will allow the shipment of the aid to Gaza through land under the activists observation. i don't think this actually helps the Israelis case in any way because honestly what if the video was taken AFTER the attacks? sure the date on the video is legit but still, who knows?

then there's the whole talk about how the Israeli is claiming that the activists attacked them first so they opened fire yada yada and then there're the activists who say that the minute the soldies boarded the ship they opened fire. so who do we believe? obviously the media is biased. it's a tad annoying actually. sort of the only article that's been sort of unbiased, in my opinion, is from BBC News. i personally feel there's more to the story. the only thing i know right now is:
1. i still don't know which story to fully believe.
2. i think the Israeli army shouldn't have opened fire or killed anybody.
3. the people who are linking this to religion or race are a bit daft if you ask me.

seriously. the people who are linking this to religion and are therefore feeling "offended" and taking this personally are pissing me off. this has NOTHING whatsoever to do with religion or race. there were people from 30 or more different countries which definitely proves that they probably didn't share ONE religion and are not of ONE race. except the human race of course. it's a bit frustrating if you ask me. just because i'm a christian, does not mean i condone what Israel has done. the same way most Muslims probably don't condone what the Muslim terrorists and extremists do, suicide bombing whilst killing dozens of innocent people and all. i don't think all the Jews condone or support it either. a person/nation's act does not reflect the religion as a whole. so WHY in the world are people linking this to religion or race?! on another note though, everything that's been happening right now with Israel and everything breaks my heart in more ways than one.

this is crappy. i need to discuss/argue about this with someone. i feel a bit repressed right now. oh well. time for physiology. i still feel i have so much more to say but i don't want to say anything without being fully informed of the whole situation. ok then. bye.

until the poets run out of rhyme

2010-05-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

so i just wasted an hour away trying to learn how to french braid my hair properly. 'twas successful of course. apparently the "french braid" i've been doing all this while is actually a DUTCH braid. i even attempted making a french braid headband but i almost died from the numbness in my arms. an exaggeratement of course but you know me. ;) haha. so i went down to try it on MissMarvell's hair because G's hair is so layered it's annoying. =.= i never want to do crazy layers on my hair ever again. i remember when my hair was so layered that my pony tail looked retarded. besides, i like my hair thick and my pony tails fat. :)

this is basically a really crappy blogpost because i'm trying to procrastinate studying for Physiology. honestly speaking, i'm quite scared that if i study anything now, i'll forget it by the time my exams come around! which would make studying now totally pointless and which totally proves that i should just fb, youtube and download music all day long. :) but of course, that's just a crappy way of rationalizing things. sigh. i have class tomorrow. but only one so all's good. ok. JUNE IS LIKE ONE BLOODY DAY AWAY! WHERE DID HALF A YEAR GO??? and it also means i have 6 weeks left before i go home! i'm so excited. i have a wedding to attend, people to hug, faces to see, a trip to see the bf and many many awesome memories to make. :)

bothered

2010-05-27T03:11:00.000-07:00

i don't mean to rant but sometimes people jump to their own conclusions and start dissing other people for no reason at all. seriously. i don't understand why and it's pretty frustrating. you'd think people grow out of it once they graduate out of highschool. honestly, we hardly say 10 words to you and you decide that we're a bunch of snotty people who use dirty tactics for goodness knows what. sometimes people just really need to shut up and get a life. fyi, we bitch about each other too, not just you. oh, and please learn how to speak/write in proper english before you start dissing other people. either diss in a language you're bloody good at or don't even try. kthxbai.

paypal is my friend.

2010-05-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the most amazing mother anyone could every have. I know we have our differences and i annoy the crap out of you every once in a while but you should know i love you to bits. you are and have been amazing strong these 18 years and i couldn't thank you enough. I WILL SEE YOU IN SEVEN WEEKS! :D

so obviously it's my mother's birthday today. i called her and we talked about random stuff. i miss her and i can't wait to go shopping with her. ;) speaking of shopping, i must tell you about the major disappointment i had yesterday. you see, i've always been one to be wary of blogshops and their sizes, quality blablabla. but yesterday i went to one and i saw a really pretty bag, and i thought to myself, where else can i get a bag like that for 50 ringgit right? i can see myself bringing it to class and all. so i email the girl and she says she accepts paypal. OMG! the speed at which i went to the paypal website to open an account was crazy. haha. then i realize i can only send money over in ringgit and she wants dollars. THEN i didn't see her last email saying she'll accept RM anyway so now i don't know if i have the bag. :( i was so excited when i first got it then actually i was second guessing myself but now i reckon i really want it again. crap. to be fickle-minded is so not a plus point i tell you. =.=

EXAMS ARE IN 2 WEEKS AND I'M SORT OF SEMI FREAKING OUT. SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

palm sugar and coconut

2010-05-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

I MADE ONDE ONDE TODAY!! :D with a little help from MissMarvell, Gwinna and AK. boyfriend helped out for a while before he disappeared. but i'm so happy it turned out good! yesterday's luncheon was super fun too. will post up pictures soon! but now i'm in onde onde heaven. :D AND I'M HAVING SARAWAK LAKSA FOR DINNER. *jizz in my pants* HAHA. ok dinnertime bye. :)

guilty pleasures

2010-05-19T03:37:00.000-07:00

Random fact: I am happiest around family, friends, food and music. :)

i have been spending the last 40 minutes looking at recipes online and listening to random music while i wait for my clothes to be done. i never knew there were SO many malaysian food recipes online. my favourite so far has definitely got to be rasamalaysia.com. there're so many freaking recipes and they all look so good. if i could, i'd try out every single recipe. but then again, exams are coming and i should be studying. the worst part of it all though is that it's almost impossible to find some of the ingredients here. lemongrass, rice wine, korean chilli paste, sweet potatoes, wanton skin. i'm going crazy. AND i don't have an oven. :( i'm getting one soon hopefully. *fingers crossed* :) then i can flex my baking muscles eventhough i probably don't have any which is really weird coz most of my aunts and my mum all have awesome cooking/baking skills. maybe i'm just underdeveloped. :) now that's a thought. great! haha.

one thing i found rather odd and which pleasantly surprised me was the fact that on rasamalaysia there were so many comments from foreigners, westerners enjoying original Asian cuisine and actually attempting to try them out for themselves. i find that so awesome really because eventhough i am probably one of those people who are pretty influenced by "budaya kuning", i love it when Asian culture is in the spotlight so to speak. I'm probably a bit more pro-Asian than usual right now because i just watched IpMan 2 yesterday which was SO FREAKING GOOD! heh. hmm.. i think i'll start compiling a list as to why being asian is cool then post it up! :) so anyway, i'll probably attempt onde-onde this weekend if all goes well and i manage to steal some pandan leaves from some AWESOME friends. hint at MissMarvell. ;) but i doubt it'll taste as good as the ones back home considering i probably won't be able to find ANY sweet potatoes here. maybe i should start growing some on my own. interesting.. hmm... heh. ok. i think clothes are done. another food rant some other time. bye! :)

let's get restless

2010-05-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

9.20 am and i'm done with classes for the day. had a small russian test just now and that's basically it. i'm so bored with my life right now. seriously. something tells me i should start studying for exams or i'll regret it but everytime i open my book, i just stare at it blankly. furthermore, it's such perfect weather to sit at the balcony with a cup of tea or a bottle of beer and just people-watch. my favourite past-time ever since i could remember. people-watching i mean. :) last night, due to massive boredom on my part, i suggested we make tang yuan or winter solstice balls. i know it's a long way to the winter solstice but i had some glutinous rice flour lying around. so 5 of my friends and i started making tang yuan at 11.00pm. Jhn and i tried tricking people who came to the kitchen to check on us, saying it was winter solstice for Australia and we were getting in the mood and all that jazz. weird thing is some of them actually believed us. probably thanks to Jhn coz the boy started reading a "text" from his mother to remind him to have tangyuan and crap. super believable i tell you. i was a bit confused for a while as to why his mother would send him a text like that at such an odd hour but soon caught on that it was just a crappy prank. heh.

i made some italian salad yesterday. honestly i don't even know if it can be classified as italian but i'm just going to say it is. :) tomato + cucumber + olive oil + lemon + salt + basil + garlic powder. it's so simple and it tastes exactly like something they'd overcharge you for at some italian restaurant. a dollop of balsamic vinegar would actually make it a tad yummier. but that i don't have so i was happy with my little concuction. think i'll make some bruschetta with Jhn this sunday, only if the tomatoes are nice and sweet and i find really yummy bread. interesting. i've already got stuff planned out for the weekend. awesome. ok i'm super hungry now. i have a feeling i'll be updating pretty frequently now considering i'm pretty bored most of the time. :)

p.s: i miss turkey. :( i wonder whether those japanese people we met in cappadocia miss it too.

4 & 20

2010-05-14T00:14:00.000-07:00

so it's currently 11.17 am and i'm in my room waiting for time to pass by. i have a small test on the physiology of excretion at 2 and i'm done studying. doesn't happen often, this whole "i'm done studying way before the test and just waiting patiently for time to pass by" thing. actually, there is something i haven't read thru thoroughly. shit. ANYWAY something's been bugging me lately. so in the physiology of excretion, we learn about how urine is formed, the importance of the kidney blablabla. what i want to know is, how come we don't learn how shit is formed? given that sort of belongs to the physiology of digestion since it involves the large intestines and the rectum but we don't learn it there either! i mean, shit is super important too ok?! if you don't excrete shit for a week, you're bound to get all sorts of illnesses. so WHY is nobody teaching us any of it? so yea, just something that's been on my mind since last night. :)

ok. 11.20 am. what to do next? i should probably go heat up a sausage or two. yes, the life of a student. i have no time/couldn't be bothered to cook or eat proper lunches. so what my friends and i usually do is just buy some buns or if we have the time, we go to the nearby canteen which serves REAL russian food. i should really take a picture of it once. you know, one day my friends and i were discussing the places we'd bring our parents for meals when they come once we graduate. talk about planning ahead right?! so we were going through all the restaurants when we realized the only place they can get authentic russian food is the canteen. which is quite sad when you think about it. heh. i'm sure there're restaurants that serve russian food though. we asked my teacher the other day and she said, because it's not really russian culture to eat out, there're hardly any restaurants with russian cuisine. which makes sense coz seriously, if i wanted to eat nasi lemak in malaysia i wouldn't go to a fancy restaurant. though i think i have eaten nasi lemak in fancy restaurants before. totally a faux pas on my part. ;)

ok enough crapping. it's 11.24 and i think i should start getting ready for lecture. biochem lecture at 12! :) i kinda like biochem lecture. i think i have an affinity for reactions and drawing all those structures. heh. ok bye.

diving for hearts

2010-05-11T12:48:00.000-07:00

so right now i'm feeling a little under the weather. :( it seems to be a viral thing that has been passed on to me by the lovely boyfriend. pfft. now my roomie has it too. won't be long before other people catch it too. sigh. so anyway, saturday was angie's birthday. she turned 40 and threw this big big bash in the 1st hostel hall complete with performances, speeches and food. :) it was quite amazing actually.

yours truly was in a play thingy as well. it's a pretty well-known sketch/play/mime thing called "everything". if you havent' seen it, you should youtube it. it's an incredibly moving piece about God's unconditional love for us. 5 minutes before going on stage i was so close to dying of a panic attack. ok perhaps i'm being a tad dramatic but i was so nervous. i'm normally not as nervous going on stage but because this play thing was so much more than your regular funny sketch full of gags. it carried such a deep meaning and i remember being so touched the first time i ever saw it. being the lead was a tad intimidating i must say because the CF did the play a few years back with a different girl as the lead. everyone else basically played the same roles they did like the last time besides me of course. and the old one was really good and to make it more intimidating, the girl who was the lead was in the audience as well. i almost went crazy. but thank God, everything came through. true, we had some minor glitches and what not but "everything" was great. ;) a girl i know today told me that she was moved by the play and that was all i needed to hear really. i just hope that the play moved many other people as well. :)

so tomorrow's another day. i actually intended to put a video of the play up here but i'm just waiting for a better copy. :) so here's to a speedy recovery and a great day ahead tomorrow. g'night all. xo

my mother, my hero

2010-05-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

so i guess it's not news that Mother's Day is today. a day devoted to celebrating one of the most important people in your life. i personally feel it shouldn't only be one day in a year we celebrate our mothers but everyday. then again, i'm a sucker for all these "special" days like valentine's day, birthdays, godparent's day and all the other crappy days some random person decided to come up with. :) i think it goes without saying, i love my mother and i'll love her until the moon turns blue. my mother is without question one of my best friends in the world. she listens without judging. actually, i think she judges but then again, who doesn't? she's always right even if i hate to admit it. she's supported me at every crappy little thing i've decided to do. fencing, diving, ballet, cheerleading, auditions, competitions. you name it, i've done it and she's always there by my side for it. i honestly don't know where i'd be or what i would've done with my life if i didn't have her. :)

so to my dearest mother, thank you for making the hardest decision in your life when you decided to have me all those years ago. thank you for pushing me in whatever i've done. thank you for all the wonderful memories i've had, the wonderful childhood and adolescence. you are a hero in my eyes. iloveyou.

Paper Dolls

2010-05-05T02:56:00.000-07:00

hello there.

the long weekend last week was just what everyone needed. here in Russia, we got 3 days off for Labour Day. i think i heard from friends everywhere else that they had classes on monday. heh. one of the joys of living in russia. anyway, 1st May also happens to be a groupmate's birthday. so we made plans to have a picnic in ZooPark nearby. honestly speaking, we should've checked the weather forecast before making plans because it actually started drizzling as we were looking for a place to place our mat. many prayers were said and ta-dah! sun came out momentarily. it was cloudy throughout but it was one of those nice cloudy days if you know what i mean. :) so anyway, pictures! :)

so this is the birthday boy. :)

surprisingly, when we were day, we actually bumped into some 6th years who were in the midst of some hari Keluarga thing. as you can see from the pictures, we actually saw 2 paragliders lifting off on the clearing in the middle of the park where we were at. it was absolutely amazing watching them flying around. i actually tried googling recreational paragliding in malaysia some time back but didn't find any info. t'was frustrating. anyway the last picture, is of me playing with UD's kite. it was actually the first time i've played with a kite. successfully i mean. my kites never used to take off from the ground when i was kid. so all i'd do is run around with it flying behind me. people walk their dogs, i walked/ran my kite. ;)

this was our very yummy spread. there was cake, potato salad, pizza and sushi. :)

so anyway, we flew kites, ran around like children, cracked lame jokes and played dodgeball before it started raining. it never rains as heavily as it does in KL here. no thunder or lightning. something to do with the charge in the clouds or some shit like that. :)

the next day, i went for a bbq with a different set of friends. thank God my honey-mustard chicken marinade worked out. i think the heinz barbeque sauce did the trick i think. but yea, it was a great day and an awesome night filled with us trying to crack our brains to figure out how to sneak into a different hostel, tequila, beer and belacan. :) okay. enough good news. time for my rants. i had to do a full medical check-up for diseases and what not yesterday. the russians are pretty anal about health and i had to do it for my hospital practicals this summer. i had to poo into a tupperware thing and a rectal swab. POOOKI. bloody hell. i've felt so invaded. it was so uncomfortable after. i am traumatized. i shall not go into details coz they're a bit graphic. but yea, worst experience so far.worst part is, i have to do it every year. :(

shit class in 10 minutes. gotta jet. BYE. :)

Today more than yesterday

2010-04-30T12:20:00.000-07:00

today was an awfully tiring day. went for lecture in the morning, cut a frog's abdomen open in the afternoon, made more crappy videos, rushed to the supermarket to do groceries, walked around wishing i had more cash to buy more stuff and finally came home at 10.30pm. i am exhausted and my back hurts. :( but TOMORROW is going to be awesome and worth all the tiredness hopefully. my groupmates and i are having a picnic tomorrow! :D since it's a groupmate's birthday/labour day/long weekend we decided to do something just for the sake of having something interesting to do over the weekend. we were initially considering a bbq but plans fell threw when we found out SO MANY other groups were having barbeques this weekend. but then i have one to attend on sunday too. :) this weekend is going to be one filled with lots of laughter, drinks, food and friends. :) YAY. so till next time i hope everyone has a great Labour Day weekend. xo

living life in technicolour

2010-04-28T02:27:00.000-07:00

the weather is finally looking up. it's all nice and sunny today at 14 degrees with the occasional cool breeze. all over europe, the weather is now stable with daily temperatures of around 10+ but not motherland russia. no no, Motherland Russia must be special. so because She has to be special, it freaking snowed on Monday! no joke. it was flurrying a bit on sunday but not much cause for alarm because apparently it's pretty normal to still have a little snow in april. BUT on monday, the snow wasn't your usual light fluffy stuff. it was actually like little pieces of ice. HAIL if you must. when it came down pretty heavy, it actually hurt a bit. :( the worst part was we were stuck in Psychology class right in the middle of the city which is about 30 mins from hostel grounds. so we were left waiting for a bus in the falling snow/hail. annoying much? actually, we had a lot of fun with it. heh. we made crappy videos reporting the phenomena and took crappy pictures. below is my attempt at camwhoring in the middle of the snowfall/hail. i am not lying as you can see from my snowcap! :D

the picture is now my phone wallpaper. i didn't realize the colours of my snowcap and trenchcoat would create such a "POP". :) i love colours. sigh.

so this is our video. our measly attempt at trying to report this incredibly annoying yet amazing phenomena that is snow in april. :) excuse our crappy screaming at the end. it was getting heavy and it started hurting. and yes, my voice is squeaky. :D okay. now i have to go eat lunch. i am famished. :D BYE.

dance,dance,dance

2010-04-25T10:48:00.000-07:00

failure of the day: decided not to read Gao Xingjian's book because i didn't like the way the character was "you". the way he transitioned from using "I" in one chapter and "you" in another in two seemingly different stories is quite laudable but it's just annoying. i think maybe i'm just not cut out to read them Nobel Prize winning books. damnit. so for now, i've downloaded Murakami's Dance,Dance,Dance. in my defense, if i was back in malaysia i'd definitely BUY the book but as i said, it's impossible to find it here in russia. :( unless i order it off ebay or amazon and even then it might never arrive. russia's postal service is annoying like that. so yes, i'm already at the 4th chapter. :D

success of the day: went to church and had a quick lunch at McD's after. i've always been a McD's girl. ;) went to test guitars out and am currently STILL contemplating whether to get one here in russia or back in malaysia then lug it through airport security and all that nonsense. oh and i also bought myself a red pick and procedded to put it in my purse like one of those people who carry picks around just in case they feel the need to strum a guitar to write another heartbreakingly beautiful song. i'm pretentious like that sometimes. :)

p.s: i really want to go for the stereophonics's concert. it's killing me that i'm stuck all the way here. :(

if a song could get me you

2010-04-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

so the internet's been pretty anal over the weekend. which is killing me because i've been trying to upload photos onto blogger but it's just not working. :( anyway i went for CF today. i've actually been going for the past 3 weeks. CF has pleasantly surprised me time and time again. i used to sort of dread going because i didn't really know anyone there besides my roomie and another friend. what i'm trying to say is i'd feel pretty awkward around the other CF people coz i wasn't really close to them per se. but circumstances have made me closer to some of them which is great because now i actually enjoy sitting around and talking to them. having more friends from hte same faith actually makes it easier for me to try and live life the way God wants me to which is awesome to say the least. :)

i finally finished reading my Murakami book today. i've heard of his genius from friends before but never really gave it a try. So over winter break when i was in Istanbul, i made it a point to get an English book before leaving. English books are a rare find here and they normally have really limited titles. so i went to this really quaint English bookstore named Robinson Crusoe and got myself "Norwegian Wood" by Murakami. i was actually contemplating between him and Orhan Pamuk who is a Turkish writer but decided to go with Murakami in the end. needless to say, i loved the genius that is Murakami. honestly speaking, the book was a tad depressing what with all the suicides happening left, right, center but it was a beautiful book. i loved the way he mixed the pain, sorrow and depression from the suicides with the hope that comes with love. the way he wrote in such detail about the passing meadows and the sanitarium in the hills was amazing. it was as if he painted a portrait with his words. a beautiful portrait. i honestly can't wait to get my hands on the next Murakami book. i actually picked Norwegian Wood because i love the beatles and they sang Norwegian Wood so yeah. totally a random pick. when i finished it this afternoon, i felt this indescribable feeling. it didn't actually leave me with that warm fuzzy happiness that chick-lits usually leave behind but more of a realistic hope thingymajig. ok, i should stop trying to describe the feeling because i am definitely not doing it any justice. but yea, AWESOME BOOK. i'm reading "Soul Mountain" by Gao Xingjian next. it's a pretty thick book with tiny words and my exams are coming up which means i'll prob take forever to finish it. :( we'll see i guess. heh. :D

ok. time to stop crapping. church tomorrow and i'm going out with Aaron to look for an acoustic guitar. :D i can't wait. still contemplating whether i should get one here or back in Malaysia. but then the thought of bringing it back all the way from KL is horrendous. so we'll see. :) ok. BYE.

Norwegian Wood

2010-04-23T06:46:00.000-07:00

the weather is gloomy today, but i like it. i seem to prefer the gloomy days to the sunny ones which doesn't mean i don't love me a sunshiney day or two but i think i belong in the gloomier ones. i tend to do a lot of self-reflecting during these days. the winds today were really strong. the strongest i've seen here so far. and i love it. it's awesome. the smell of rain is all i need right now to make everything complete. Madeleine Peyroux is playing on my itunes, i have a Murakami book beside me and a pretty crappy view outside my window. on another note, shit, my laptop has dust on it. which doesn't really make sense coz i use it 24/7. guess it goes to show how often i actually clean my laptop. i mean seriously. who cleans their laptop? =.= the bf used to be so in love with his mac but just chucks it aside now a days. see what i mean? haha. ok. enough crappy talk. i think i should start blogging again. HOW MANY TIMES DO I SAY THAT IN EVERY POST? SERIOUSLY! atrocious. but i WILL. I AM DETERMINED. :) though i doubt i have anything much to say except about how i feel about the day's weather. heh. ok. byebye.

oh honey.

2010-04-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

so i've decided to blog again. it's sort of a spur of the moment thing. considering i really have nothing else better to do now. so let's see..... since the last time i posted anything substantial, a lot has happened. people have passed away, tests done and passed, books read, love reignited. all that kinda jazz. so on saturday, we had our sketch. completely in russian and yours truly was narrator/music director. it was kinda fun preparing for the sketch besides all the minor arguments we had. but we're a pretty peaceful group so yay us! haha. won ourselves a pizza blablabla. how can i even have the audacity to feel like blogging when i have nothing to say? maybe i should start filling this blog with pictures of my shallow cleavage and talk about how i took bus no37 to the cardiac centre and walked in the sun with my shades and felt hot so i took off my jacket when the sun went away for a while and it got cool so i put my jacket back on. now that's a thought hmmm. i shall leave you with a picture of my lovely group. :D

i didn't realize how short my skirt actually was till i saw this photo. in my defense, a lot of the russian girls walk around like that also. :D ok byebye.

you're one with the strings on your new guitar

2010-02-19T07:27:00.000-08:00

i had a dream last night. all my friends were in it. it wasn't one of those dramatic dreams with people dying and bombs going off. no epiphanies were reached. no conclusions were made when i woke up. it just made me feel... hollow. empty. ok fine. maybe i did make one conclusion. i miss my friends. simple as that. the dream felt so real and probably the only dramatic part was when i got stuck in a lift. but besides that, it was a peaceful dinner. of the buffet kind if i recall correctly. i actually haven't given it much thought till now. my day has been so jam packed that i haven't actually had the time to think about it at all. not many people find someone they can sit quietly with without the creeping awkwardness or that need to fill the quiet up with some frivolous topic. i've actually found a few but i believe i've lost one. it breaks my heart everytime i think about it. i remember us lying down, listening to jazz music and getting lost in each others' thoughts. there were these phone calls where we'd talk about random things and infatuations. i don't think anyone's to blame for any of this. for the distance that makes it's way quietly and sneakily lodges itself in between a friendship. for the way it strengthens over time until it becomes this wall. this big big wall that seems almost impossible to penetrate. i think we became victims of circumstance and that blows. but life goes on and all one can do is hope that somehow circumstance brings us back into the roles we played in each other's life a long long time ago. i just found the song i was looking for on my itunes. genius found it for me and for that i am grateful. and yes, mariataylor, i guess i am one with the best friend i lost i wish was still there.

lonelilly

2010-01-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

honestly speaking, the panic is setting in. but nothing's happening. it's like standing on railway tracks and seeing the oncoming train. every fibre in my being tells me to run and save myself. but i just stand there. still. staring at the train. anticipating the pain of cold hard steel crashing into me. i need to start running. but i feel like i've been drained of all my energy and there's nothing i can do about it. i've missed all my goals and deadlines. i'm way behind on all the studying i have to do. i feel lost. i think all i need is a little push. will someone please give me a little shove?

decisions

2010-01-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

i am torn between wanting to profess my annoyance at blogger for being bitchy and not letting me upload pictures or at my internet connection which is really sucky and therefore is not allowing me to upload any pictures. sigh. decisions decisions.

why, Happy Birthday Jesus

2009-12-24T10:47:00.000-08:00

9.40pm 24/12/2009. it's officially christmas back home in Malaysia i wonder what everyone's doing now. Christmas for me usually means church in the morning, rushing home after church to get ready or dressed for the night's family activities and the traditional extended family gathering complete with gift exchange, roast turkey and wine. :) this year however, my christmas will consist of an anatomy test, studying, lots of snow, a CF dinner, opening presents and friends. i think the equation is a bit off. it needs family. my family might not be as interesting as yours but they are my people. they're too noisy at times, say the most inappropriate things. they'd probably try to make you feel comfortable but end up making you feel uncomfortable. you know the type. when only one specific person pays too much attention to you and the rest of the family just sits and stares. especially when you first arrive. then they try to make useless chitchat with you until after dinner when everyone's been well fed. then they're nice to you. yup, that pretty much sums up your entire experince of meeting my family for the first time. :) i miss them. i'll miss the smell of roast turkey this christmas.

but i'm determined to make the most out of it. christmas i mean. i honestly don't think i'm in for such a bad one after all. save the anatomy test though. that is such a killjoy. seriously. but besides that, i'm pretty content with what christmas has to offer this year. a friend says it doesn't feel like christmas this year which is true to a certain extent i guess. but i'm blaming it on the fact that she has hardly any christmas songs in her itunes. i have 3.8 hours worth of christmas music in mine! *beams* i'm pretty excited for it to hit 12 actually. i'm contemplating whether i should make my friends open their presents AT 12 or tomorrow after we've all arrived home from a gruelling day. should i open MY presents at 12 or wait till tomorrow? sigh. decisions decisions. i'm actually looking forward to the CF dinner tomorrow. my roommate and i are hosting this dinner thing on Boxing Day with close friends that should be heaps of pointless, useless fun. :) when i look at it, my christmas this year promises to be an interesting one. it's my first christmas without family though. but then again, someone once said your friends are the family you choose. *so corny* =.= so, technically i'm celebrating it with my chosen family. *joy*
i have to make haste. it's 10.07 pm now and i've yet to start studying. double sigh. but Christmas is coming so YESSSSS!

to everyone all over the world, have a Blessed and Merry Christmas today. much love. xo

missing out the cracks in the pavement

2009-12-22T22:52:00.000-08:00

i have crazy mood swings.
i snap at anybody in my path when i do. *not a pretty sight*
i really like pixie lott's version of Use Somebody.
being caught in a snowstorm is not nice.
when the snow hits your face in a snowstorm, it's like being shot in the face with a snow gun.
christmas is in TWO freaking days.
i'm so excited i could piss in my pants. :D
but i have quite a big test on christmas. :(
i'm a really bad tweeter.
i miss my mother.
i'm really bad at saving money. *sigh*
i wish i could've gone home for CNY and Christmas.
i'm semi regretting my turkey trip now coz there's a kick ass winter conference in moscow around the same time.
i need to continue studying physiology now. kthxbai.

sugartown

2009-12-15T05:11:00.000-08:00

i found this on the net and decided to do it coz i've been wanting to do one of these crappy things for quite a while now. :)

I Have

(x) stayed single for the whole year
(x) made out in/on a car
(x) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
(x) kissed in the rain
( ) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else’s heart
( ) had a stalker
(x) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
(x) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
(x) done something you’ve regretted
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe

OTHER
( ) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(x) posted a blog
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
(x) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
(x) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you

In 2009 I…
(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
(x) went behind your parents back
( ) cried over a broken heart
(x) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
( ) slept under the stars
( ) kept your new years resolution
(x) forgot your new years resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
(x) sat home all day doing nothing
(x) pretended to be sick
(x) left the country
( ) almost died
( ) given up something important to you
( ) lost something expensive
(x) learned something new about yourself
(x) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(x!) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
(x) stayed up til sunrise
(x) cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
(x) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
( ) went to the beach with your best friend
(x) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(x) became closer with a lot of people

all in all i think 2009 has been a good year and there's barely 2 weeks of it left. :) here's to 2010 being an even more awesome year. for now though, i'm going to enjoy the last bits of 2009. :D

hello mother

2009-12-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

i spoke to my mother for an hour today which is a rare occassion considering for every 30 mins, my mother is charged 100 bucks. russia has this system where they cut off international phone calls after 30 mins which is a tad weird if you ask me. so yea, we usually talk about until the phone line gets cut and we leave it at that. but she called back today. i'm pretty close to my mum considering she's the only one i've got. :) iloveyoumum and this christmas season, i miss you so much more. kiss the dog for me and smell that ikea christmas tree please. she promised to take a picture of the house and send it over. once she figures out the camera. isn't it mindboggling how adults are so technologically handicapped sometimes? it's just a simple camera. =.= haha. but yea. i miss my mum. sigh.

fluorescent adolescent

2009-12-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

sometimes i read archives of some people's blog because it brings me back to a time when life was so much simpler. yours is one of my favourites because you were such a big part of my life. i never told you this but i always liked you. i always thought you were cute. I am Vicky though my friends reckon i am Christina. i'm probably more Christina them but i feel like deep down i'm Vicky. the more i tell them i'm Vicky, the more they deny it. maybe i was a Christina who turned into a Vicky. does that make sense? i feel like i could've a Juan Antonio but i left Juan for a house in the suburbs and tennis lessons. that's the effect all these have on me. that trip to obiedo was so long ago but i still remember it i guess. i wonder whether Juan does. nonononono. i feel like Maria Elena. actually, i think i could still be looking for Juan. this blows. i honestly have no idea what i'm talking about right now. maybe i should go take a nap. ahh.. PianoBoy's online. :D

do you hear what i hear?

2009-12-07T05:03:00.000-08:00

so i have been abandoning this blog for quite a while now. which is bad but i haven't felt the need to say anything important so yea. CHRISTMAS IS IN 18 DAYS!!! how awesome is that? i'm so excited. really. i can't even begin to explain to you how excited i am. winter is finally here, bringing with it -1o degree weather. now all i really want and need is family and SNOW. WHEN IS THE SNOW COMING?? i have a feeling i'll be kicking myself when the snow actually comes but ahh.. i think winter without snow on christmas day is a bit sad. but according to some people, in the next 2 weeks, the weather will drop to -20 and thus, SNOW. not so excited about -20 weather but SNOW. okay. i think i've said snow too many times already.

anyway, i finally have fast "unlimited" internet which is awesome and a pain in the ass at the same time. you see, in russia, "unlimited" internet basically means that you get 3GB of internet for a specific price. so once it's done, you're out of internet and you have to pay somemore for MORE internet. capiche? so annoying right? but yea i think it's only here in Nizhny. Moscow seems to snotty and cosmopolitan to have this kinda crap. i heard they have REAL unlimited internet everywhere. :( jealous. so yes, i've been downloading all sorts of crap like crazy. music mostly. CHRISTMAS music. :D i finally found the torrent for "Stockings By the Fire". okay Stockings by the fire has got to be one of the most awesome christmas albums around. IMO anyway. it's a CD released by Starbucks in 2007 and it has rufus wainwright, a fine frenzy and sarah mclachlan and some other people on it. i love it. it's the perfect mix. it really is. my mum and i bought it back when starbucks was still selling it and every christmas, it's on constant replay. i think we've practially raped that CD and my mum tells me she's still raping it. sigh. that poor cd. haha.

so now i get to rape all the mp3 files from stockings by the fire on my itunes. *evil grin* sigh. christmas!!! i've started planning my christmas presents for friends but i really don't know what to get. it's horrible this whole present buying thing. it's not the buying part that's horrible. it's the getting something that they like part that's a nightmare. :( i really don't know what to get anyone. gahh.. and i haven't put up my christmas tree in my room!! :D yes yes yes. i have a mini christmas tree. so i told my friends, i'll get them mini presents coz if i get them huge ones, then it won't fit under the tree and we can't have that now can we? ;) so yes, mini presents for everyone. :D

i'm feeling a bit rufuswainwright-y now. (read:melancholic) i really don't know why. i think i'm tired. but i'm still pumped about christmas. :) fuckyeahchristmas.tumblr.com is one of my favourite tumblr websites now. tumblr is so addictive. i started one and abandoned it straight away just so i could comment on ppl's tumblr posts. yes, i'm pathetic like that. but tumblr-hopping is so addictive. :D:D:D okay i gotta run. russian class. =.=

p.s: gingerbread biscuits are heaven and i think my christmas is slighty ruined this year. i won't get roast turkey(coz noone has an oven big enough for it), candy canes(i haven't seen any in russia yet) and an advent calendar. :( i always get advent calendars. anyone wants to send me an advent calendar? though by the time it reaches i'll prob have to eat all of them in one go. ;)

xo

legally esoteric.

2009-11-14T13:26:00.000-08:00

turning 18 was awesome for me. :) i had chocolate cake, beer, candles, clubbing, turkmenistan, shisha, tequila, vermouth, vodka, good music and even more amazing friends. :) it would've been even more perfect if i could bring friends from back home over. :) boyfriend did that whole 18 candles thing for me. completely took me by surprise. i went over to his room right before it turned 12 and he told me he was catching a rat. i remember telling G i was so puzzled as to why he kept getting rats in his room which is pretty clean if you ask me.

many other events took place that day. biochemistry test, psychology class, cake at some restaurant that brews their own beer, walking along walking street(excusethepun), spontaneously going clubbing at night, turkmenistan, going for class the next day with only 2 hours of sleep, having lunch, Rubella vaccination, crashing for about 3 hours only and partying the night away again. you could say my 18th birthday was all about booze and friends. which amde it so awesome. would really love to get into the details but i'm too lazy. :) heh. all i can say is being 17 and 18 is a world of difference. even just one day, it still feels different. i feel like i should be more responsible now. sort of anyway. and that i'm free to do whatever whenever whomever and however. ;) but yea that's just me. but so far, being 18 has been incredibly awesome. :D

of milestones and all that jazz

2009-11-10T09:22:00.000-08:00

i'm reaching a milestone in a few days. but why am i not irrationally excited the way i normally do over things like birthdays and valentine's day? i have a feeling it's going to be a quiet birthday with a few friends, tequila and UV lights. :) but i feel content. i really do. i don't feel the need to have a huge-ass birthday party or dinner. i just want to spend the day with people i care about. now if only i could get some people from back home over here for the day, my day would be perfect. :) talentime's soundtrack is on replay on my itunes. i suddenly really want to play an awesome instrument like the er hu or something. oh oh oh, i might be heading over to turkey for winter holidays. :) so excited! haha. gotta jet. i have a major test on thursday which is a bummer but i just really want to turn 18 quietly in my little corner with everyone i love. :)

if you knew how much this means to me

2009-11-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

this is the street in front of my hostel on the 31st of October. :) it's the 4th of November and it has stopped snowing. which is good and bad at the same time. it sucks because the snow's starting to melt and it's becoming muddy and it's awesome because at least now i don't have to have snowcap-hair when i go to class. :) haha. apparently it's going to start snowing again tomorrow. but then again, russian winter's really unpredictable. besides that, today was a public holiday! :) it's the day the USSR officially became Russia or something like that. apparently it's a new holiday. no complaints here. the more holidays, the better. :D

the melting snow is bringing my christmas spirit away with it. :( there's just something about snow and christmas. given, for the past 17 years, christmas has been without snow but this year, i can finally sing winter wonderland and REALLY feel the whole white christmas crap. heh. my exams are coming. my birthday is next week. i really want to fly to barcelona one summer. i might go to turkey this winter. :) sigh. plans plans plans. so many things to do, so little time. is it just me or has this year flown by so fast? pfft.

walking in a winter wonderland

2009-10-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

I got to wear a sari on saturday! :) how awesome is that? it totally made me feel connected to my indian side. saris are so feminine and everyone just looks great in one. :D so it was Diwali open house last saturday and it was such good fun. i ended up being a narrator for the annual play and there was this awesome dance by the seniors at the end. then after everyone had left, we had a mini disco just a few of us and trust me, you haven't danced till you've danced in a sari. it's one of the hardest things ever to manouver in the thing let alone dance in one. but to be honest, wearing a sari made me feel so proud to be half indian and it just oozes femininity which is always a good thing. so yay! :D

my friends are coming over in a few. we're having a cook-out. well sort of. it's kind of a pot-luck party. it was supposed to be a mini celebration. SS thought of it. she wanted to celebrate my last "children's day" cum halloween. but halloween's a pretty touchy subject. religion wise so we're not going there. so it's just going to be a fab night of food, drinks, music and games. :) i honestly can't wait. btw did i tell you? it's the 30th of Oct and it's been snowing the WHOLE day. seriously. =.= but this is the russia i love. snow looks so awesome. even the rubbish bin looks pretty. sigh. haha. i'll snap a picture in the morning and you'll see just how covered everything is. :D shit. my eggs are boiling in the kitchen. gotta run. ciao. :D
p.s: i don't care what everyone else says. Christmas is COMING!!! :D:D:D:)

my world is this big

2009-10-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

isn't this just the cutest? :) i've been reading a lot about how iloveyou has the same amount of letters as bullshit. seriously people? i know you can count but it also has the same number of letters as imissyou, ineedyou, iwantyou, fabulous and a lot of other words. words i can't think of right now and i honestly can't be bothered with counting the number of letters all of them have. i just think that sometimes all people think about is the pain in losing someone they love and putting all the good memories in a little box somewhere. because honestly love is awesome. :) yea, i have a boyfriend now and i'm really happy but i have been down and emotional about losing love and hanging on to people not worth hanging on too. FairSlut once told me, way back last year i think, that i should get my heart trampled on then i wouldn't think people were overexaggerating the dark moments of love. maybe i will one day. maybe when that day comes i'll find refuge and comfort in all these pictures and quotes about how love is painful. but it's the best thing around. i don't think anyone ever really stops believing in love. i think even if they do end up jaded and miserable, they're always on the look out for that BIG love. because once you take away the magic of Love and even God, what else is left? this is really random and i'm really tired. but i just think that even if one day i end up on my bed for 3 days straight, recovering from a broken heart, poofy eyed and all, i will still believe in love because without love, whether platonic, from family or romantic, life is pretty boring and you know i'm right. :)

life isn't a fairytale

2009-10-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

I haven't been online in nearly 72 hours! *gasp* internet dude ran out of internet credit. bloody hell. it was sheer torture. seriously. :( on another note, Happy Diwali. :) batchmates had an "open house" for all of us. okay. my eyes are closing and i still need to study for tomorrow's class. :( byebye.

that local boy in the photograph

2009-10-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

having a blog makes me feel a tad naked. like i have a hole ripped right down the side of my dress and you can see bits and pieces on what's on the inside. i might forget the rip is there after a while but somehow after 3 minutes of boisterous laughter or chatter, i remember it again. maybe not that exaggerating. more like a hole near my butt and everyonce in a while, you get a glimpse of my underwear. that's what blogging feels like to me. Sylvia Plath is right on. that's why i don't really keep a diary anymore. coupled with the fact that i have no time to write all my feelings down and the fact that i prefer telling someone all my dark twisty thoughts, i find that all my past diary entries never really capture the essence of the moment. okay maybe they do and the best part is that when i reread all that jizz, i remember certain things i'd already forgotten about that particular day/night. that's the amazing part about diaries that a blog will hardly ever be. i guess it's coz i'm afraid of being judged at this self i potray/reveal in this blog. it's just weird. it's probably just me but PianoBoy seems to agree. ;) oh yes yes AND a thought crossed my mind as we were IM-ing. i just suddenly thought about making my blog private but then what's the point of having a blog. besides, i really don't want to know who reads this blog or i'd feel really awkward around them. i mean i know ONE person who does (PianoBoy!!) but i really don't want to know who else does. anonymity is best. :)

anyway, tomorrow's Deepavali. this year will be the second time i've ever "celebrated" it. guess it's not a secret that i'm not at all in touch with my Indian side besides the ginger pickle-bananaleafrice-loving part of me. :) i guess that's what happens when you have a single mum who's chinese. heh. so anyway, my friends are throwing this open house tomorrow. :D open house = awesome food and a chance to bring some home. if you're lucky. ;) AND i'm wearing a SARI this year. HOW AWESOME IS THAT? promise i'll put a picture up. heh. but then again, the "big" thing is only next saturday. so picture up next week then. so i wanna wish all my Hindu friends, HAPPY DEEPAVALI and have an awesome one. i heard we're getting fireworks for tomorrow. *jumps around* ZOMG. fireworks!! haha. i'mma go now. byebye

p.s: maybe i should come up with a better way to say bye. *thinks hard*

welcome to wonderland

2009-10-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?

-Alice in Wonderland.-

i really must read the original one day. :)

give me a reason and i won't breakdown

2009-10-12T02:12:00.000-07:00

This is one of those typical birthday posts eventhough i don't think these 2 darlings know my blog has been revived. :D
so first off,to the awesomest roommate a girl could ask for, :)
Happy 19th birthday. i'm sorry lunch today was disappointing and no, just because it's your birthday it does not give you a license to skip class. :( i'm sorry for all the farting and i love all the random moments we share especially when we study for a test or exam. stop studying so hard please because you make me feel bad for watching that extra episode of true blood. :( haha. ily and here's to another 5 years together. :D

to Cheryl Ho,
Happy 19th birthday darling. :) hope you had an awesome day. i tried to upload a photo of you but blogger is being a pain so i shall refrain from doing so. heh. have fun in LKW and please stare at all the hot creative boys in your uni. the past 5 years have been a rollercoaster ride. i hope Jitz makes you so so so happy and i'll see you next summer. then we buat photoshoot together k? coz FairSlut got an amazing one so i want one too. ;) ily. <3

okay. bye.

p.s: someone posted an update about how blogs are so boring and nothing substantial to read even after this person read a few blogs. does that make my blog boring and unsubstantial or does it mean the person didn't read mine? BUT i couldn't care less if my blog's boring and unsubstantial because what do you expect from a medical student living in russia with nothing better to do? ;)

Doctor diesel's Sexy lime

2009-10-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

remember how i was so surprised it was thursday the last time. like the week just flew by and i don't even remember much of it besides the tests i studied for and the late nights. my eyebags are crazy! no joke. so yes as i was saying, i can't believe it's sunday already! where did my weekend go? =.= this is shit. i can't remember doing anything remotely productive at all. well friday was pretty tiring. what with the histology test in the morning and anatomy class after. then we had to pack the room up and PARTY! :) :D

the party was awesome. seriously. G(the roommate) and I weren't expecting much because we didn't want to be disappointed. so in the evening, we bought some beers and mixers which turned out to be insufficient for the night's activities. seriously. i think altogether we finished a bottle of whiskey, another of cognac, 5 bottles of wine and 14 bottles of beer. apparently all that still wasn't enough. *gasps* but then again, there were about 20+ people. not all drank but all that booze sounds like SO MUCH. russian beer is so much better than malaysian beer. one of the many reasons russia holds a very special place in my heart. her beer. ;) so anyway 'twas a night filled with alcohol, grape shisha, stained bed sheets, pyjamas, YMCA, taboo, music, dancing, much much laughter and awesome friends. :D

i have a russian test tomorrow and a biochemistry test on thursday. why do i feel like my life is suddenly a myriad of tests? sigh. medical school is so much fun and so frustrating all at once. :( pfft. oh well. sleeping at 5.30 in the morning basically meant that my saturday was pretty much useless. i didn't even leave my hostel. that's how dead i was. this frightens me because it makes me think about my housemanship 5 years from now. how on earth am i going to stay alert and awake for 36 hours? coffee'll probably be my best friend by then.

i feel like i'm not saying anything substantial thus i shall stop mumbling. :D i should really start studying russian now and probably think of what to cook for dinner. right then, byebye.

i wouldn't believe your radio

2009-10-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

IT'S FRIDAY ALREADY! lalalalalalalalalalala. i passed my other major test today thank God. ok. i need to go take a nap now. :) party in my room tonight. it's the roommate's 19th birthday! :D:D:D. i have to clean my room. shit. this sucks. but the party will be a good one. *fingers crossed so tight they hurt* :)

the whole universe was in a hot dense state

2009-10-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

my mum is throwing my queen size bed away. :( actually i gave her the idea considering i'm only in Malaysia for 2 months max in a year. zomg that thought just sounds so freaking sad. it feels like a time limit. i have to squeeze in mieng kum from Sri ayutthaya, banana leaf rice from grand city, asam laksa, curry laksa, all the other laksas, prawn mee, char kuay teow, hokkien mee, ayam goreng McD, tepung pelita, that pink chinese cake thing, bandung, teh o ais limau, teh tarik, roti canai. honestly as i name one thing, 145364 other different food stuffs pop into mind. how am i going to squeeze all that in in 2 months? my mind boggles. sigh.

so yes, about the picture. i found it on some random xanga photoblog because everyone knows random xanga photoblogs have awesome photos. doesn't her bed look awesome? i mean i prefer a super single if i can't have a queen sized one but i love the metal head board. i think the whole fairy lights/disco light effect is why i like it so much but all the same, i still love that bed. it looks like one of them day beds from ikea but the beds from ikea are so flimsy. especially if they're metal. :( and i don't want a day bed. so tiny!! how do you people sleep on a day bed? even for the day. don't you feel like you're about to roll off it? seriously. though i suspect a day bed would fit nicely in my room. THEN i can get fairy lights and put it all around the frame and light it up at night. sigh. perfect!! :D something tells me my mum is not going to like the fairy lights idea coz she'd have to clean the dust up. potong steam. :(

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT'S ALREADY THURSDAY? i had one major test yesterday and because of all the studying i'd been doing, i was literally shocked when it dawned upon me that today is thursday. i should get over it. i sound so bimbo. *slaps self* PianoBoy just told me about the Oct8 attack planned by some indonesian group. sharpened bamboo sticks? seriously. =.= i think they'd be better off with a BB gun. i mean. think about it. bamboo sticks are pretty heavy. maybe only for weaklings like me, but they look pretty heavy. AND they probably have to get pretty close to their target to attack them if they use them bamboo sticks. SO i suggest BB guns because then they can at least attack from a further distance and not get slashed by some fisherman's parang while doing so. Malaysia Boleh! :) *beams* disclaimer: I am in no way supporting this attack lest you think i am.

on another note, tomorrow's party day. :D roommate's turning 19!!! :D:D:D:D. ok. i have to go. she's studying for our second major test, which is tomorrow. and i'm feeling the kiasu-ness. :P besides, i think i'll watch the latest big bang theory before studying. THE NEW EPISODES DOWNLOADED HAVE SUBTITLES. subtitles = i can sing the entire big bang theory song now! *does victory dance* ok. sheldon's knocking. byebye.

action membrane potential.

2009-10-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

i do not understand why i waste internet credit to check your fb page. i really don't. besides, it's been a while since we last spoke. i am such a retard. sigh. i should be studying physiology or memorizing russian or something useless like that. instead i am here. that postsecret just really describes everything i feel right now. i'm not even 18 yet and i feel 21. sigh. do i have to wait much longer for my epiphany to come? this blows.

only the moon will hear my plea

2009-10-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

Life has been a bit mundane lately. nothing interesting's been happening. so because nothing exciting or even remotely interesting has been happening, i decided to start blogging again. only because i've run out of blogs to read and sites to visit and fb has started becoming an utter bore. pfft. but because my life is so utterly boring, this means, my blog will be boring too. then before you know it, my fb page will be boring and then i'll just turn into this massive boring heap of crap. then i'll melt into the night and fly among the stars at night. sigh. maybe then the cow who jumped over the moon will be my friend. gosh this is so random. it's probably not even worth reading. but since i've written all this crap. i shall post it. :D

the pictures you see above are from a night filled with boredom and webcams. besides i think we were studying for a test. :) this is why my roommate and i click. ;) much much love darling.

2009-08-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

15th August 2009 was definitely a night to remember. seriously. i'm still not over it. ok maybe a little. but honestly it was so bloody awesome. great music + amazing friends = one helluva time. :) honestly initially, i wasn't too excited about it considering i'm not really into the bands at world stage and i was only going coz i had mosh pit tickets and just to be included in all the hype. yes dear, i'm shallow like that. anyway, it started raining which kinda dampened the mood a bit. then estranged didn't play "itu kamu". until now, i do not comprehend. so you've probably read all about it in the newspapers. it honestly didn't feel like there were 15000 people there. all i know is that it was so awesome. really. BLG's lead singer is so bloody hot, so is Raygun's guitarist. AAR's lead man, Tyson something, is so quirky that i can't help but love him. haha. and zomg. kasabian's lead singer has short hair. which puts him in my hot old people books. seriously. haha. shit. i'm coughing. BLOODY HELL YOU KNOW WHAT? ok ok you see there were 2 huge ass screens next to the stage and you could send twitter messages to a specific number and it'd be displayed on the screen. somebody posted : i just broke quarantine to be here. where're you?. WTH?! which means i've probably got H1N1 now. so i'm going to the doctor's later. :) just to be safe. BUT SHIT!!!! bloody hell stay at home la if you've been quarantined.

i'm currently in starbucks because the internet at home has died on me. streamyx is such a bitch sometimes. sigh. i had my last driving lesson today. JPJ exam tomorrow! which i'm totally psyched for yet bloody freaked out about. well at least i'll finally be getting my license which should put an end to all those jokes about me being a kid and not having my license. asses. heh. :) i'm going back in 9 freaking days. which bloody kills me because there's so much i still want to do. sigh. i haven't been really hanging out with my mum which sucks. but on the upside, my 18th birthday party in on saturday. it's 3 months too early but wth?! at least i'll have a good time. *fingers crossed*

i'm still waiting for FairSlut. who just woke up. sigh. we're having brunch together. :) that woman is so awesome. seriously. i'm going to miss her when i leave. :( ok. byebye.

Jump, little children - midnight

2009-08-09T09:19:00.000-07:00

these are 1/4 of the people in my family.
i actually have 27 cousins in total.
my grandfather had 25 children from 3 different women.
i love my family because we can be very dysfunctional sometimes.
last night, i discovered ABBA songs send my family into a dancing frenzy. the macarena too.
i have videos. ;)

i just watched the most heartbreaking trailer.
the time traveller's wife.
it has rachel mcadams in it.
i love her the way i love natalie portman, dakota fanning and leighton meester.
i reckon i shall go buy the book tonight. :)

i don't know why i'm writing like this.
i have started driving lessons.
my instructor says i'm a natural. ;)
i'm better at it than my mother.
heh.

i'm going back in 2-3 weeks.
i feel like i have so much i want to do.
people to meet.
places to go.
food to eat.
books to read.
i haven't had enough home cooked food.
i will miss my dogs. :(

p.s: i know i'm supposed to continue the xpax update thing. but kesimpulannya, all of us won mosh pit tickets. ;)

Bitter:Sweet - Sugar Mama

2009-08-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

i haven't blogged in almost 2 weeks. nothing interesting going on anyway. the boyfriend came for a week and left on tuesday morning. it's only sunday but i feel as though he came a month ago. time really flies. the past 2 weeks have been pretty emotional for me. the mood swings i had were crazy and poor VampBoy was at the receiving end. thanks for being so patient with me, love. :) we celebrated 365 days of being together on the 29th of July. freaking AWESOME! seriously. i never thought i'd be able to be one of those girls who celebrated one year anniversaries though certain boys did give me hope. but yesssss..... i have found my one-year-anniversary man. oh yeah!!! ;)

ily jlj. <3

so having the boyfriend around meant i didn't really hang out with my friends. SHIT. no. i hung out with them SO freaking much. seriously. late nights mamak-ing at Tanjung were pretty frequent. then there was that night at euphoria for Juice's birthday thingy. i remember that night being full with neon bright colours everywhere, the very hot Joey G, bumping into Howard who was there to cover the event, tandoori at some random mamak, BLOODY HEAT and free flow of martell, absolut and chivas. i only had a glass of absolut with some disgusting juice thingy and martell with some kind of fruit punch. both of which tasted horrible. *random thought: i think i shall christen Michelle Khoo with the nickname, FairSlut, because she is fair and she's my slut. i is ingenius. :)* as i was saying, FairSlut left early with Jian to some random shop near carrefour for some drinks with tim and the rest. Jeff and i were supposed to join them but ended up waiting for his friend who came 30 mins after. freaking tiring i tell you. my feet were bloody aching due to the day's activities which i shall elaborate on later. ;) then we stayed back and danced with ethan and the rest. house and techno. not really my cuppa tea. :( but t'was a pretty fun night in the end. shit event though. sorry to say. thanks for the vip invites emc. :)

shit. uploading pictures on blogger is so annoying. coz the pictures appear at the TOP of the post so i have to bloody drag each one of them down one by one. so annoying. =.= eee. anyway, on that friday afternoon, a whole bunch of us went to Taylors college for the mtv/uox roadshow for the upcoming mtv world stage concert in sunway lagoon. all of us were pretty desperate for mosh pit tickets. SO. game #1: eat 5 bananas and drink a whole can of coke with ONE hand.

this game, Jitz won! :) the boy was bloody blending the banana with his 2 front teeth. freaking scary wei. like super speed. seriously. THEN jim,jon,tim, FairSlut and chun jui did a "performance" which was basically michelle pouring ketchup and ice cream on jon's belly, jim laughing like an idiot behind her and tim and chun jui competing to see who could finish it all the fries on his belly first. WITH NO HANDS. i sense a trend coming. ;) anyway it was pretty funny and disgusting all at the same time. i remember laughing at jon laughing coz he felt ticklish, watching tim try to stop himself from puking and chun jui laughing and spitting ice cream and ketchup on tim's face all at the same time! not for the faint hearted. :P

it's 5.15 now. SHIT. i have to go get ready. family karaoke competition tonight. ;) my family members are such rock stars. really. :) so i'll continue this tonight or something. much much love.

Nouvelle Vague - Bizarre love triangle

2009-07-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

i can't believe i've been blogging daily. oh well. i've not been doing anything much anyway. today was awesome though. :) i met up with Howard who is now Mr.i'msopopular blogger. he just suddenly stood behind ian and i during worship and threw me completely off guard. i hugged him then told him to shut up. well i mean it was worship so i needed to.. umm.. focus i guess. so after worship, we sat down and tried to catch up. sort of. i mean how much catching up can you do when you're trying to pay attention to the pastor at the same time?! not easy i tell you. haha. he threw in a couple of really funny jokes as well. lame as they were, they were still super funny. at least i thought they were. i tried them on my older cousins during dinner today. if i don't watch it, i'm going to be the new lame queen in the Chew family. not good. ;)

today i found a picture online. one of them thoughtful postsecret-like pictures and it totally blew me away. it totally described my emotional state. i would love to share it with you but i'm afraid it might be a wee bit too obvious and we don't want that now do we? as of today, the only person i've told that i'm blogging again is Soo Xinghan, formerly known as PianoBoy. i think i'll stick with PianoBoy though PerisherBoy would do it for me too. but PerisherBoy sounds so.. dark. PerisherBoy because everytime i listen to the Perishers - in the blink of an eye or any other song by the perishers i think of him. stereophonics too actually. :) i haven't seen PianoBoy online all day and it's really frustrating because i want to show him the picture. but he's not bloody online. pfft.

those two pictures of my girlfriends and i bring me back to a different time. to a time where i wasn't conflicted, when relationships were easier, when my biggest problems were boys and spm, when we didn't board those emotional rollercoasters that come from studying abroad, when good music made everything better. i told ian i didn't care anymore. i reckon i still do but you don't. so i'm going to keep telling myself that i don't until i really don't. which might take a while but i guess it'll be easier once september comes. because when september comes, i'll be back to chilly weather, pretty trench coats and falling leaves. i really hope it gets better. no. i know it'll get better.

Sara Bareilles - Gravity

2009-07-25T03:07:00.000-07:00

i have been hooked onto this song for the past few days after watching a certain contemporary dance to it. thus it is now my fb status. yes i do random things like put emo lyrics as my status. i have been uber frustrated for the past two freaking days! seriously. super super frustrated. i have been ranting and whacking ian for the past two days. poor boy was stuck with me throughout the church conference. thanks deary. :)

editing this post i just realized that my previous post was also gravity. :) by john mayer though. i am so freaking bored right now. i'm stuck at home on a saturday night and my mum has gone dancing. see, my mother the more happening one in the family now. which is really sad. in my case i mean. ;)

i've been feeling things that i really shouldn't. or at least i'm pretty sure i shouldn't. gosh i'm so confused. conflicted would be a more appropriate word. sigh. i wonder whether you still mean what you said. but i really shouldn't. seriously. what is my problem? i need chocolate. good music. good movies. something. i just need something. i want something. i want what you can give. but i probably won't ask. so here's to hoping you're psychic. :) that picture reminds me of you.

p.s: why on earth is everyone leaving subang/not in subang anymore? :(
i can be cryptic when i want to.

john mayer - gravity

2009-07-24T00:10:00.000-07:00

i finally understand why gillian was raving about John Mayer the other day. watching him play and sing "live" is breathtaking. seriously. i am going to marry a boy who can play me some awesome john mayer songs one day or actually, i'll just settle for marrying john mayer himself. ;) a girl can dream.

speaking of gillian, she's left for Australia. which really blows. thank God i still have Michelle, the slut that she is. :) my favourite of course. which reminds me i need to take them pictures from her. she keeps snapping and snapping and snapping. which occassionally gets bloody annoying because this results in many very very unflattering pictures of me. :P wednesday night was a dinner followed by the usuals at tim's place. :) it was definitely a night of firsts for me. something i'm happy i experienced with some of the people closest to my heart. ily people. :)

Influence conference in church for today and tomorrow. hopefully i understand everything in the conference. i pray the sessions speak to me. :) there'll actually be a session by a neurologist. can't wait for that one! :D as previously mentioned, all my posts are damn useless. i don't have anything thoughtful or deep or ranty to say so far. so i'm just mumbling. :) i don't expect anybody to read any of these anyway. considering this blog has been dead for half a year. :) i have no pictures either because MICHELLE has all of them. but i'll get them soon enough. :) maybe you should check her blog for them instead. pictures i mean. she's on the side. one of them esoteric sluts. :D so.. byebye.

of fickle mindedness

2009-07-20T20:48:00.000-07:00

i suddenly have the urge to blog which is not unusual considering i've been having these urges for a few times now. but the fact that i'm actually layan-ing this current urge is pretty weird. :) i have a feeling hardly anybody's going to read this considering this blog has been dead in almost forever. initially i thought it'd be weird, me suddenly blogging about random things out of nowhere. whatmore on a dead blog but i guess all i want is somewhere to express and random thoughts i have or rantrantrant about whatever. :D besides considering, it's summer holidays now and i'm so bloody free, i'll blog. :) thus begins the rebirth of this blog which i should mention could only be temporary. i've decided not to let the pressures of trying to keep my blog "alive" make me update for no bloody reason when i have nothing i want to tell people about or nothing worth saying. till the next time i feel like mumbling anything. bye. :)

when the 8 turns to 9

2008-12-29T09:30:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!

i've been back home fore exactly 6 days now and i'm absolutely loving it. the past 6 days have been filled with parties, dinners, gatherings and lots of Shopping. zomg. i bought a pair of Paul Frank jammies today!!! i must show you!!! it's so cute i tell you!! hahaha.. anyhoo.. i think i'm the worst blogger ever. seriously. i just can't seem to think of anything to write. so basically if i ever do think of anything to blog about, i'll just rant here. but besides that.. i don't really think i'll say much. considering my blog's a pretty boring and lifeless one. oh but i must show you my jammies!!! :D

hope you guys have a splendid New Year!! zomg 2009!!!! i'll be turning 18!! hell yeah!!! ;)

Becky

Malaysia here i come..

2008-12-22T03:24:00.000-08:00

ZOMG I'M GOING BACK IN 3 FREAKING DAYS!!!
ASAM LAKSA HERE I COME!!!

P.S: guys call me if you wanna hang k?? seriously. :D i'll be back on the 25th at 3pm!!! *grins widely* ahh.. i can't wait!! :) and oh.. sweetie i'm gonna miss you like crazy!!!

PostTrack: Rob Pattinson - Never think

Becky

or i'll never give my heart

2008-12-12T09:30:00.000-08:00

i don't think i like the person i'm becoming or have already become. it's like i'm on this ferris wheel and for the longest time, i could control the speed of it's motion. whether i wanted it to go out of control and spin like a spinning top or just stop. still. in the midst of any chaos. just. still. but in the past year, i've felt like i've totally lost control of everything. like somebody broke into the station and messed with my buttons and left me up there, at the top of the ferris wheel. alone and uncertain. and panicky. i don't understand it. i really don't. i thought i would've had myself figured out by now. but i don't. i'm seeing a side of myself i don't like. the side where i have absolutely no control over my feelings. where i'm this jealous little wretch. where my emotions are so easily influenced by one person. where i ultimately have no control over myself. it makes me angry. it makes me feel like i've failed myself. it makes me disappointed. but above all, it makes me sad.

PostTrack: Karin Melchart - when i fall in love

Becky

if i start counting down

2008-12-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

i'm going home in exactly 17 days!! zomg!!! :D

the oompa loompa

2008-12-03T05:51:00.000-08:00

this has been my expression for the past few days. okay maybe not. but if i could walk around with my face scrunched up and my mouth wide open, i would. i'm this close to walking around looking like a maniac but i think the fear of looking like an idiot has stopped me. so far. for the past few days, or should i say weeks, johan has been whining and going on and on about how we don't have permission to go back yet. *gasps* i just realized. i haven't told anyone i'm coming home. DAMN it. but i can't explain my predicament if i don't tell you. anyhoo for starters, we don't have the permission to go home. THEN our flight ticket, to cut a long story short, got canceled. but that's all good now thanks to Alson!! :) THEN the vice-dean of the foreign student's faculty told us we will definitely NOT get permission to take our exams early. which is soo frustrating. i mean if i go home, then i'll have to study for chem!! where's the fun in that? :(

before i start sounding like someone who is very very emotional. i feel like doing one of them tag thingies. so here goes.

the Soundtrack of My Life

Opening Credits:
Hot Hot Heat - Middle of Nowhere

"well maybe i'm a little bit slow or just consistently inconsistent. She said "unpredictability's my responsibility baby""

Zomg.. so random. hahah. but i AM a bit inconsistent and slow in a bimbo sort of way. sometimes. heh. :)

Waking Up:
La Rocca - Non Believer
“i believe the faithful fell and didn't know their way back. do you take the non believer?”

First Day At School:
Keane - Nothing in my Way
“why do you say "it's just another day, nothing in my way"”

Puppy Love:
the Honorary Title - Stay Away
“Seperate yourself from what compels you to relinquish us, push yourself on to me entirely”
i don't really get it.. haha.

Fight Song:
AFI - Prelude 12/21
“I promise you my heart to sing, kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep”
=.= wth.

Breaking Up:
Matt Wertz - Lonely tonight
“Cause this is the hardest thing i've ever done before”
damn it, bloody emo song.

Prom:
Katherine Mcphee & Elliot Yamin - Real Love
“if you're feeling it, put your hands together like this"
this song is so sesat. seriously. but i mean it will sort of get people to put their hands up in the air.. right? :D

Life is Good:
Citizen King - Better Days
“and i know i ain't got much to loose, i've seen better days”
i really have!!

Driving:
The Little Heroes - Thank You

“all of your words cause little earthquakes" *blank look*

Flashback:
Gin Blossoms - As Long as it Matters
“i'm like a broken record that you can play, repeating as though it mattered”
so true!! and i thought my shuffle button was going psycho.

True Love:
Usher ft Beyonce & Lil Wayne - Love in this club (remix)
“you can be anywhere you want but you decided to be here with me”
*swoon* i miss my boyfriend now. haha. on another note, this version of love in this club is so different from the original version. heh.

Wedding:
Alicia Keys - Like i'll never see you again
“when i wake up in the morning, you're beside me. i'm so thankful that i've found everything that i've been looking for.”
this is depressing for a wedding song. i want my wedding to be a little bit happier please!

Moment of Triumph:
Britney Spears feat Madonna - Me against the Music
"it's time to party all night long"

Death Scene:
Joanna Wang - The Best mistake i've ever made
“even if my heart should break, you'd be the best mistake i've ever made”
zomg. i have to die from having my heart broken into a million pieces? noo.. :(

Funeral Song:
The Perishers - In the blink of an eye
“i wish i would've known, i wish i would've seen”
i totally "connect" with the song. i still haven't been to Budapest and VampBoy is going this winter!! hmmph.

End Credits
Will.i.am - Make it funky
"could you make it funky for me, mr D.J?"

this was such a weird tag thing but so much fun. i must admit i cheated for moment of triumph. i mean the shuffle went to some weird techno song. who plays a techno song after they triumph?? zomg. heh. anyhoo i should get back to studying. i think i've been blogging for too long. i NEED to start studying. somebody give me some studying spirit please!

PostTrack: Banderos - Manhattan

Becky

would you like to stay the night

2008-11-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

i miss home, outings, laughs, lame racist jokes, bitching sessions and drinks with friends. :)

will we ever really rest in peace

2008-11-15T05:02:00.000-08:00

i think i have found my inspiration. i just watched Barack Obama, the 44th president of the United States's winning speech. i am inspired. i pray he will truly bring about a new change and renew the hope of regular civilians in the United States of America.

i found out Lim's dog has passed away. i really wish i could be there for you Lim. i was busy thinking about all the grief he might be going through when i noticed something. something that made me miss home and realize that i have the greatest friends in the world. all my close friends had a shoutout to Fidget, Lim's dog, someway or another. most of us had personal messages that read Fidget r.i.p. then it dawned upon me. Though sometimes we might be too busy to hang out or catch up with each other, we pull together during times like these. we remind our friend that eventhough we might not be there for each other physically, he or she is always there in thoughts and prayers. i couldn't help but feel inspired and happy while at the same time, sharing the grief of my best friend. because eventhough a great friend and companion was lost, it has shown me that friends are there for each other no matter what. that as friends, we should help each other pull through every situation, no matter how miniscule or catastrophic.

so to Lim Dao Wei: i understand your grief and i wish i was there for you to hold your hand and give you a hug. i pray you will pull through the grief. tonight i grieve with you for the lost of your companion. i hope you will stay strong amidst all the pain. ily bestie. :)

r.i.p Fidget. i hope you are friendly with all the dogs in doggy heaven.

Becky

we have cause to be uneasy

2008-11-12T14:50:00.000-08:00

This is what my very very lovely fantabulous absolutely amazing friends did for my birthday! wait. before i tell you, i must tell you this. my room has been compared to a pig sty many many times these past month coz basically i can be quite a slob. heh. and so, knowing me oh so well, my dear friends did this:

they cleaned my room!!!! :)

whilst my boyfriend set my Ikea study table up for me. with a little help from a fellow friend who like cooks AMAZING food. seriously. Mervyn i know you won't read this but i really wanna eat more of your yummy food. sigh..

this is what i call the evolution of cleaning. heh.

this is me being 17 for the first time! :) gosh i look so weird. haha.

anyhoo the next day we decided to skip physics lecture and go for lunch at some nice Italian restaurant, Il Patio. the place was pretty nice but the food was a tad disappointing seriously. sigh. oh well.. pictures! :)

the room mate, the boyfriend, the 17 year old and the person. you know what i mean shanu! ;)

the flirty, the Kenyanwho'sactuallyarabicwhoisnowcanadian, the lovesick and the weird.

le amour. :)

the canadian boy who apparently wants to be like David Blaine doing a Sweeney Todd style shot.the 2 people who enjoy taking pictures very much. :D

then we started making horny faces.

horny face no1 and 2.

horny face no3 and 4.horny face no 5,6 and 7.

i reckon if we were to have a competition horny face no4 would win hands down!! haha. shanu doesn't even look horny la. :P

this is me cutting cake. heh. oh and i shared it with this 6th year girl from Sabah, Neo. her birthday's today so Happy Birthday Neo!!! :)

then a group picture before we braved the cold outside.

i must say the weather was absolutely delightful. it was pretty warm. around 5 degrees which is tame compared to the really cold 1/2/3 degrees the previous days. oh there was so much sunshine yesterday, i couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside. sigh. thank you Lord for such amazing weather on my birthday. :) haha. anyhoo i need to go squeeze in a little nap before intensive russian class. 3 hours! crazy i tell you.. heh.

a HUGE thank you to everyone who wrote on my Facebook wall, sent me a text and wished me in person. seriously. i feel.. loved! :D mucho amour people. xoxo

PostTrack: Usher feat Beyonce : Love in this club (remix)

Becky

the 17th pop

2008-11-11T09:08:00.000-08:00

Guess who's turning 17 soon?? ok fine.. i'm ALREADY 17 back home. but i'm STILL 16 here in Russia!! :)

all hail the princess

2008-11-08T06:25:00.000-08:00

i'm turning into princess in exactly 30 minutes. and i'm not even dressed yet. crap....

Becky

as my feelings become vertical

2008-11-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

i feel uninspired. very uninspired. i think the worst part about feeling uninspired is not knowing why. maybe it's the lack of sunshine and warm humid air tickling my skin. maybe i just miss home. maybe i miss being happy and carefree. maybe i miss being able to shop without a care in the world. or maybe, just maybe, i want to be back home with my family. my friends. my dogs. my church. my house. my city. my country. my world.

the light in my toilet blew.

2008-11-03T07:23:00.001-08:00

i think i'm getting a certain high just from being online. for the past 2 weeks i've been bombarded with webpages with "Page Load Error" splashed across the entire page. it can be depressing for a girl you know. sigh. oh well enough of all that emo talk. i'm back on!!! hahahah.

in the past 2 weeks:

1. i've had nasi lemak for dinner. :)
2. received my DHL package from my mum which was filled with tonnes and tonnes of food. :D she even sent me IndoMee. <3
3. i celebrated my third month-niversary.
4. i attended a RUSSIAN BALLET show for less than 10 freaking ringgit!!! wth right? haha.
5. i ate business lunch at some underground chinese restaurant. business lunch is this set thingy which most russian restaurants have for lunch. heh.
6. my room mate and i attempted to cook chicken curry and it turned out great! :D
7. i received this 2 really cute cooking books from my aunt in england which has tonnes of recipes in them.
8. i got the package my godmother sent me with a reader's digest, 17 mag, birthday card and a letter! :D
9. i attended a party and danced with Vampboy. something i haven't done in a long time.
10. i aced both my physics and chem tests. ;)
11. i went for my first russian yum cha session after the ballet show. here people go to restaurants to get a drink and stuff. eh actually right, a mamak is also a restaurant. right??
12. i co-own a washing machine and a fridge!

basically in the past 2 weeks i've felt really loved up by my friends, VampBoy and of course my wonderful family back home! :) i had no idea i'd have so much fun here in med school in the middle of an ex-communist country. i mean seriously. what are the odds of me enjoying myself in a country where i am almost always plagued by communication problems? see.. Eventhough the workload is CRAZY and the tests are a wee bit tough, med school is still really fun. ZOMG you should see the parties here. haha. yesterday Shanu stopped me and said " eh becky, look around. 80% of the people here are going to be doctors one day you know". which was really really weird. heh.

apparently winter is starting soon which means at 4 in the afternoon it looks like 7.30 back home in malaysia. it's 5.45 now and it's already pitch black outside. it's been really disorientating because once it gets dark i start feeling sleepy. then i realize i still have a whole day ahead of me. anyhoo i haven't seen my boyfriend the whole day today. so i shall go kacau him now and make him watch grey's anatomy with me!!! :D season 5!!! zomg... i wanna watch HSM 3 la... ish.. i wonder whether russians even know about HSM. hmm.. anyways BYE! :)

PostTrack: Duffy - Warwick Avenue

p.s: i'm so pathetic. i don't even know what the latest songs are!! what more indie music. sigh. :(

edit: i went ikea shopping today. oh how i love ikea. :D

Becky

did i mention..

2008-10-18T11:57:00.000-07:00

i've been having happy days these past few days. :) which is really good. the highlight of my day has been the fact that i had sambal belacan today!!! i know!!! soo good right? HAHA. i am so pathetic that even sambal belacan can make my day. sigh. Vampboy is sleeping next to me now. under the covers. he has a really long day only coz he played basketball and dota and made me a widow for the day. did i tell you the other day when i told my mum Vampboy went to play dota she went all oh so now you're a dota widow! =.= oh help me. hahaha. but he's made it up to me.

i just rearranged my room!!! aahhh!!! really. it's so much neater now. i really should camwhore all around my room and show you just how it looks like. and because my mum has been bugging me to take pictures of my room. heh. see my mum is really into facebooking now which is kinda weird but so cute at the same time. :D the worst part is that she sees all the mushy messages i sometimes leave on jeff's wall. *blushes* yesterday was super fun only coz it was my new friend Johan's birthday! pronounce Yo-Han. mind you. i know. he's so weird right? HAHA. we had chicken kurma, sambal udang, saffron rice and lots and lots of cake and ice cream. did i mention i chipped my toenail? it got caught in the carpet and half of it just tore off. :( my very nice and annoying friends proceeded to spray DKNY perfume on it only coz it had alcohol in it. SIGH.. i don't really like my friends. i think i should go annoy them now. i miss my emo posts. but there's just nothing to be emo about now a days. :D

oh let me show you something. we get so bored in physics class that we started camwhoring like crazy. mainly only shanu, johan and i coz we're in the same group. so anyway i caught shanu doing this!

and so johan and i proceeded to copying her.

see.. medical students still camwhore in class too. :) who said all medical students are dorks? pfft. haha. i need to go now.. BYE BYE. :)

PostTrack: Dima Bilan - Number One Fan (ya tvoy nomer ahdeen)

Becky

as waves of emotions crash

2008-10-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

i've been really cranky these past few days. i think it's coz i've been really tired and laden with so much work. sigh.. i think i'm too much of a perfectionist and that is the main cause of my crankiness and the frequency of me being upset with so many people all at one go. see if i weren't the self-righteous idiot i am, then i would be much happier. i think. nah. i'd probably find something else to be self-righteous and obsessive about. this is starting to get depressing. not the weather, no! i absolutely adore the weather. really. i think it's the fact that from now on, the only thing my life will be filled with is lots and lots of work. did i tell you i have a test on tuesday? in anatomy , about everything from the spine to hip bone to the shoulders, hands, arm, thigh, shine and foot. yes yes, very depressing. and by golly, will this craving for chili padi and sambal belacan just stop already?? zomg.

i feel really happy that my boyfriend is here because eventhough i get annoyed with him due to mentioned self-righteousness, he never fails to forgive me and give me this huge hug when i need it. sigh. speaking of lovely boyfriends, he just bought me a kinder surprise!! yay! Vampboy doesn't really like chocolate. wth right? i know!! but he bought me that. OH OH and he got me this soft toy.you know the type with like beans inside and is really really nice to hug. well.. it's a giraffe and i named it Tanzy. as in Tanzania. which is starting to get weird coz i have a batchmate whose from Tanzania. heh. speaking of cool batchmates, i have batchmates from Maldives, Tanzania, Kuwait, Canada and Kenya. i know!! i thought i was cool. geez. haha. aaaahhhh.... i must tell you this. i'm having sambal udang tomorrow!! *screams with joy* if only you could see how happy i am now. :D

PostTrack: Christine Glass - My love will get you home.

Becky

my russian wonderland.

2008-10-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

i have a runny nose now. SIGH... i am such a sad case.. hahha. today has been super cold. it hasn't been this cold in a really long time. haha. zomg my hands felt so frozen when i didn't put them in my pocket. i shall never again say that pockets are annoying and useless. haha.

the first birthday party.

the internet connection here has been really sucky the past few days. i think the laziness of blogging is dawning upon me again. coz i never get to bring my camera around. :( oh well... ah ah... this passerby girl wanted to know more bout russia and stuff so here it goes.

the medical course here takes 6 years coz it's M.D instead of MBBS, which the rest of the commonwealth countries like England use. that's only 5 years but this is 6. they're quite a few places you can choose from around Russia. but word of advice, try not to go to Kirsk coz apparently it's quite ulu. anyhoo the WHOLE program is done in English. the biggest prob here is definitely communication. but i mean prior to coming here your agent would prob require you to fulfill 90 hours of Russian classes. even if you don't have any classes, you can come here to learn. it's extremely vital you speak russian coz most of the population here don't speak english. basically this place is just really full of interesting people and places. :) if you're nice, the people are nice too.. skinheads are like quite rare. really. i mean as in any country, it's quite dangerous to wander around at night but it's pretty normal la. you should really check russia out. wikipedia it or something. i promise you won't regret coming here if you do. it's pretty cheap too.. everything's like around 300K or less. for 6 years of medicine. including hostel fees and stuff! :)

i gtg. i need to pee. most of us pee quite a lot here coz it's cold and stuff!! HAHA. zomg fireworks!! right outside my window!! AAAHHH!! ok i need to go enjoy them with my boyfriend now. bye bye. :)

p.s: the last picture is a picture of a chandelier in the middle of a lecture hall... damn nice right? :D

PostTrack: Lincoln Hawk - Everytime

Becky

if i could i'd shelter you

2008-10-04T02:56:00.000-07:00

i really really hope there's yummy food at today's open house. ZOMG. i have to tell you this!! halls here have chandeliers you know!!! damn nice. the other day we were having an MalaysianStudentsAssociation meeting and it was held in this hall with really pretty antique-looking chandeliers. SIGH... so pretty i tell you. hahahhaa. anyhoo i'm still in a dilemma as to whether to wear my baju kurung or just an ordinary top!! help? anyone???

PostTrack: The Valli Girls - always there in you

Becky

Почему так всегда происходит?

i'd turn my dreams inside out

2008-10-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

i actually wanted to write this really long post about my first day of (can you believe it?) university. but my connection potong-ed my stim. =.= sigh. what i would give for streamyx now!!! anyhooo i think i'm falling sick. NOOOOO.... that's bad. VampBoy is currently sleeping on my lap now and filling my entire room with the echoes of his snores. yes yes my boyfriend snores. *blushes* most people do what!! right? heh.

zomg i had my first Russian public transport experience today. Unfortunately i have to take a bus or two to class everyday. and in the mornings!! FUISH!!!! the buses are jam-packed i tell you. oh oh i have to take a picture and show you guys what i mean. i think they're not enough buses in Russia to accomodate the people. i bet Putin's behind this!!! bwa ha ha. i shall petition for more buses! someone said that Russia needs Rapid Russia too.. HAHA. lame but i totally agree. ;)

i need to get some sleep. i had two really really scary nightmares last night!! which means i had little sleep. :( noo.. can you guys please pray that i don't get anymore nightmares today again? please... i don't like them. they make me feel scared and emo. sigh.

PostTrack: Tristan Prettyman - Love, love , love

Becky

edit ( 2.10.08) : i had my first anatomy class today! i got to play with REAL human bones!! ahhh... haha. i feel so cool now. oh i soo need to take a picture of this walking street in Nizhny with really cute bronze statues all over the place. i must show you la!! haha. soon! ciao.

beneath all that chilly air

2008-09-28T12:47:00.000-07:00

Priviet! (russian for hello!) i've been in Russia for bout 5 days now. i have only one thing to say. Russia is AMAZING!!! really. so far i've visited Moscow and Nizhny Novgorod, which is the city i'll be studying in. this place is so so beautiful. given it doesn't have the life and city hustle and bustle of NYC, it is still very very beautiful. it has all this rich culture and history oozing out of the pores of it's buildings and this city is so quaint. sigh. i think i've fallen in love with Russia.

this is a very very cute thingy. see they were building the extension of a shopping mall and they covered the construction site with this wall that is drawn on to look exactly like how it'll look like when it's done. i think you need to read that sentence twice to understand it. heh. i told you russia is cute! ;) on another note, i've pretty much moved around this whole city already. almost. my daily schedule will be so crazy i think i'll only have time to blog on wednesdays and weekends. heh. we're supposed to travel by bus to wherever we have to go. my classes in the 1st year are in the furthest campus area. 40 minutes by bus. SIGH. :( but i get to see the coolest things.

the weather's been GREAT!!! seriously. eventhough it's dipped to subzero levels which means it rains and snows simultaneously. it's not very very cold once you get used to it. it's crazy really. on the first day we went around it was about 7 degrees. there was much walking to be done so by the time we went into a place, i honestly couldn't feel my nose and ears at all. HAHA. oh yeah the seniors were like "oh, it's considerably warm la today!" *gasps* heh. so yeah we've grown accustomed to the weather due to all that walking. i now consider 8 degrees warm too. sigh. i've been brainwashed.
i know everyone wants to see pictures. so i'll post them up soon enough. in a list of the 10 things i love about russia. for now. ;) in the meantime, check the photo album in my facebook!!! :D i gotta jet. it's 12 in the morning here now. me and jeff have hit our 2 month mark! we annoy, snap at, laugh at and tease each other constantly. but we're still ok! right baby? :) oh well. i'll go back to reuploading my pictures. my mum has been bugging me on facebook!!! my mum has a facebook account and she's commenting on my friends walls. =.= why is my mother so computer literate? haha. anyhooo dasveedanya. (bye) :D

PostTrack: My Morning Jacket - Look at you

Becky

did i tell you i love you?

2008-09-24T05:53:00.000-07:00

i'm in changi airport now. leeching off their free internet. heh. this feels too surreal. i just met up with VampBoy just now and it felt really good. haha. Dao Wei and Ikhwan came to the airport which was an extreme shocker! in a good way of course. i'm gonna miss home. heck i already do! my dogs, my room, my mum... sigh.. oh well.. i feel like i haven't done enough. i know i haven't met up with all the people i wanted to. i hope my new camera lasts as well as the old one did. i need to sit and just soak in all the emotions i'm feeling right now. i have to go. this computer thing has an automatic timer. so yeah. if i didn't say it, to all the people in my life, i love you and i hope i see you soon!!! :) chinese new year's not that far away. right? :(

PostTrack: Jason Mraz - Make it mine

Becky

of all these things

2008-09-23T04:40:00.001-07:00

i've been receiving smses and comments on my facebook wall all telling me to take care when i go over to russia. sigh. why must all my friends be so nice? Ily guys.

please be my escape

2008-09-19T03:52:00.000-07:00

i feel very very emo now. about 30 minutes ago i had to choose which books i wanted to keep and which ones i wanted to put way up high in the upper cabinets. sigh. i mean how do i choose between harry potter and twilight? what about my shakespeare collection? oh oh and how do i choose between memoirs of a geisha and the catcher in the rye? this is bad.. it just reminds me how little time i have left here. SIGH. anyhoo i gotta jet. mum's bringing me to the salon for a hair wash. :) random.. but nice. i shall blog again. tonight. i think. :D

PostTrack: Matthew Perryman Jones - Shine your light on us

p.s: i just found out all the pics from my farewell party is gone! double emo now. :(

Becky

let's get wrecked on pop tarts

2008-09-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

i feel sleepy. ok. that was such a boring opening line but seriously, it's good! coz i haven't felt sleepy at around this time (12.12 am) in quite a while. i think i'm accustomed to the Russian time now. no jet lag for me then! coz russia is like 4 hours behind us and all. and my mum had all these plans to have dinner together through skype and all.. sigh.. sorry mum.. heh. maybe while you have supper and i have dinner! :D

today was a new milestone in my life! i have a brand spanking new Baju kurung!!! yes yes yes... it's the type you would get for hari raya and stuff. it's purple and has pretty sequins all over. *goes all dreamy* it fits perfectly too.. i must say i think i will represent my beloved country perfectly on Malaysia Night when i get to russia. :) unfortunately, according to my mum all of them MUST have this, it has.... shoulder pads!!!!! wth right?! freaking shoulder pads. i'm telling you there was this one time (this line reminds me so much of american pie. teehee.) my mum asked me to try on her new baju kurung which is purple and shiny too :) to see if it'd fit so we didn't have to hunt for one. damn it it would've. if it was not for them darned shoulder pads. they were sticking out the side of my shoulders like a weird shield like thing.. something out of an ultraman cartoon. sigh.. hahaha. but i am contented now because i have my new baju kurung! :D

and and and... i was browsing through books in mph the other day coz my mum miraculously entrusted me with her credit card for the day. i bought the whole twilight series just to satisfy my curiosity. i mean it couldn't be AS good as harry potter.. could it?! i finished all 4 books in like a week. but only because i had so much free time and i have an unhealthy fascination with vampires since forever. it's almost unnaturally erotic in a way. *shakes thoughts out of head* oh well.. heh. but yes.. i enjoyed it though. the first 3 books were ok la i guess but the 4th completely blew my mind! i had so much fun reading it. i think the wedding scene did the trick for me! ;) i don't know if i should say this but i think it was ALMOST as good as hp. *gasp* it made me cry and go all mushy. *grins sheepishly* i want to be a vampire too.. sigh.. i've been telling my mum the whole day now and she's been nicely layan-ing me with an "ooh" or an "uh huh" every now and then. oh mummy.. how i adore you! :D

i realized i'm too lazy to read posts with tonnes of words now a days. but i seem to write them posts WITH tonnes of words. heh. i have all but SIX days left here.. no wait. since it's past 12 and all that nonsense, i have FIVE more days left!!! noooo... i had nasi kerabu and daging dinding today. ok if you don't know what nasi kerabu is, head to the nearest bazaar and ask for the thing with the blue rice. daging dinding is kinda like beef jerky. :D yum yum yum..*smacks lips* i shall go away now.. :) so as to not bore you with my words.. heh heh. i want to finish watching my one tree hill la.. haven't had much time lately. :( anyhoo tata earthlings.

PostTrack: Motion city sountrack - fell in love without you

Becky

then He's in love with me.

2008-09-16T07:28:00.000-07:00

i am so annoyed now no words can describe how i feel. but the fratellis are working their magic on me yet again. sigh.. what would i do without you, PianoBoy? there isn't enough reason for me to be angry in the first place. no solid reason anyway. i feel like shit for being annoyed but i can't help it. maybe it's the PMS. i actually had a really nice emo post planned. i even have the draft! from yesterday night before i went down to have my favourite instant noodles for supper. my oh my what am i to do during tonight's phone convo? i feel like picking a fight but i wonder whether it's worth it. BUT I'M JUST SO FREAKING ANNOYED. couple that with the fact that my internet's being a bitch and so the downloading of the latest episodes of gossip girls and OTH are once again interrupted. just shoot me la. eventhough i only have 8 days left here in this wonderful politically mad country.

PostTrack : Five for fighting - If God made you

Becky

you're so skinny, you should really supersize your deal

2008-09-15T09:44:00.000-07:00

1. Six people to tag
i don't think i know six people who would be happy to do this tag. since i'm leaving i want to make them happy! so.. NO TAGGING! i do tag michelle tan though. coz she does a lot of these tag thingies. :)

2. Six things I'm passionate about
Jesus
Family
Jeffrey Lee JJ
Lim Dao Wei
Indie Music
People ( in general, since i'm becoming a doctor and all. heh)

3. Six things I say too often :
What the hell??
oh.. Shit
Hunn!
lah
zomg
eh serious ah?

4. Six books I've read recently
Stephenie Meyer -Twiight
" - New Moon
" - Eclipse
" - Breaking Dawn ( i mean you HAD to know they'd be twilight right?)
Dorothy Koomson - The Chocolate Run
Lola Jaye - By the time you read this

5. Six songs I listen to again and again
Jason Mraz & Tristan Prettyman - Shy that way
Espen Lind - Scared of Heights
Janet Seidel - I wish you love
Stacey Kent - What the world needs now
Elisa - Rock your soul
Missy Higgins - Where i stood

6. Six things I've learnt in the past.
To fall in love. :)
To not be ashamed of my Indian heritage.
I need alone time.
I learnt i can want to be around a person all the time without feeling needy. :D
People don't always pull back.
Normal people don't love banana leaf rice, indie music and ginger chutney as much as i do! ;)

1. The last person to tag you is?
Michelle Khoo Hor-Nee

2. What relationship of you with him/her?
Slut and Bitch. oh and most importantly, friends. :D

3. Your 5 impressions towards him/her?
awesome
fantabulous
extremely hot
hilarious
a girly girl :D

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has done to you?
she used to come by my place where we'd exchange indie music , gossip and talk about oth! :)

5. The most memorable words that he/she said to you.
eh slut! haha.

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
make out with her every chance i get. coz apparently she's hor-nee! :D zomg. that was such a good joke. *laughs sheepishly*

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
slut/bitch slap her. then gossip about an even bitchier girl! :D

8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on?
zilch! she's fine the way she is.. ;)

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is....
coz she's hotter than me! haha.

10. The most desirable thing to do for him/her is?
buy her a chanel sling bag??

11. The overall impression to he/her is :
sizzling.. =D

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
i really don't know. i hope they feel happy, nice and all warm and fuzzy, haha now i sound like a blanket! heh

13. The character for you for yourself is?
pretty nice with the occasional bitchy and angsty side? oh and a hopeless romantic of course!

14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
my ability to bum around the house in my PJs the WHOLE day.. so unprogressive. sigh. haha

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
a good, loving, compassionate doctor with an amazing husband and 5 children to boot. but then again, if only i was a vampire.. haha.

16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them
i absolutely adore you!!!!

17. Ten people to list :
1. Jeffrey Lee ( from now on known as VampBoy)
2. Lim Dao Wei
3. Shanu Bhanoo
4. Nithi
5. Michelle
6. Cheryl
7. Gillian
8. Jian
9. Ikhwan
10. PianoBoy

18. Who is number 2 having relationship with?
noone... but the number of girls who have their eyes on him is CRAZY!

19. Is number 3 a male or female?
mostly female.. ;)

20. If number 7 and number 10 be together would it be a good thing?
zomg.. i really dunno. it would be.. weird.. haha. besides PianoBoy has this chick who he absolutely adores eventhough she doesn't like Stereophonics! *gasp* haha,

21. How about number 5 and number 8?
Jian and Michelle?? haha.. that would be soo interesting to watch. though michelle being with ethan atm is gonna be a bit of a prob. heh.

22.What is number 1 studying about?
Medicine! in Russia! with me!!! :D

23. When was the last you had a chat with them?
about 3 minutes ago!

24. Is number 4 single?
Yes. and he has unique ex girlfriends. heh.

25. Say something about number 2
Annoying. :)

i haven't done these tag thingies in ages man!! hahaha.

PostTrack ; Jack Savoretti - No one's aware

Becky

honey won't you fill my little world right up?

2008-09-12T02:32:00.000-07:00

today was another mindless day of running about to various shopping malls to run errands. zomg wei! if i knew i had to buy so many things to go overseas to study, i'd just stay here. there's sooo many things to buy! whatmore it's Russia which means i have to get stuff that will keep me warm in -10 degress temperature. extra thick and gooey lipbalm, marks&spencer body lotion (the cocoa butter and vanilla one is so yummy!), beanies which make me look a wee bit like eminem and vitagen! boy oh boy, am i gonna miss vitagen when i go to russia. :( can we please start importing vitagen there? please..... haha. oh shit. it's 5.45! i need to get ready for dinner. it's some random japanese buffet this time. SIGH... but then it's a gathering at Dao Wei's place later! :D did i tell you how much i heart my friends? haha. oh, oh and to prove my loyalty and love:

see baby.. i love your flowers so much i actually camwhore with them! :D Whitey made them for me the night we became official. :) he surprised me at the airport with 20 real roses, brought me for dinner then when we went home surprised me with this. apparently he stayed up till around something in the morning making these flowers. *swoon* there's 10 which, according to him, means you're perfect! *kembangs* i miss you hunn... see you in singapore honey!!! it's so weird that i'm writing this coz he doesn't actually know my blog's url yet.. but in time.. he will! :D anyhoo.. i gtg. ciao.

Soundtrack: The Felling - Fill my little world

p.s: has anyone seen the new ipod nano? shit wei.. I WANT ONE! i'm gonna make sure mine spoils a.s.a.p!! heh heh heh.. and i don't know how to put a tagboard here. can someone help me? please. :(

Becky

but i thought it was blue

2008-09-11T05:57:00.000-07:00

there are days like these when i wonder how i will handle certain situations. you know how sometimes you imagine a certain ongoing scenario and you kinda imagine what you're gonna do or say next. i do that all the time. actually.. playing these kinda tapes in my head over and over again at night actually puts me to sleep. it's not all that fun though coz it only reminds me how much of a coward i really am. sigh.. i need some balls! pronto! haha.

us, then.

us, now.

Happy belated birthday Lim Dao Wei!! :) thanks for being the most uselessly amazing best friend ever! i love you!! :D MUAX. we'll definitely go out soon la k? hope you enjoyed yourself yesterday!!

ZOMG! i have to tell you this. yesterday was Dao Wei's birthday. so the birthday boy wanted to be all cool and happening and head over to Changkat Bukit Bintang to have dinner! bloody hell. we reached KL at around 7.45/8 and circled KL's Bintang Walk area like a gazillion times! seriously. i bet i can even tell you most of the shops along that street by heart now. then we went from Sungei Wang to Times Square to pick Cheryl up. which meant we were lost all over again coz then we didn't really know how to get back to the Bintang Walk area. Tse Jing who was driving the other car told us to follow him. stupidly we did and ended up near the Parliment Building which is on the other side and at the edge KL city. somebody just shoot us already please. poor birthday boy had to be the designate driver. we ended up just eating at The "very sucky" Ship and for a little snack afterwards had money-sucking lok lok. 1 stick of kangkung and 1 stick of si ham = 4 bucks. :( sigh... we did have tonnes of fun later though, walking around Bintang Walk and taking mucho mucho pictures with cheryl's spanking new DSLR! :D

so yes.. yesterday was a very exhausting day all in all. tomorrow's another party!!! and then Saturday's my farewell party! :D sigh... how am i gonna leave my comfy room, my mum's delicious cooking and my amazingly horny friends??? HOW??? :(

PostTrack: Santogold - Creator

p.s: i'm trying to understand but it's a wee bit hard.

Becky

:(

2008-09-10T01:50:00.000-07:00

my attempt at this whole new blog thing is lame..

sigh..

s.i.m.p.l.e

2008-09-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

i just finished watching the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. i'm currently outdated-ness personified la. i pretty much thought it was an absolutely fantabulous movie!!! really. and the soundtrack's even better. :) i just realized that i'm not into making my blog all pretty with pretty blogskins and them weird gadget thingies. maybe it's a change for the better. which means this blog will be all simplicity and the only thing complicating in this blog will be the posts. oh yes.. now that's a thought!

Soundtrack: Alana Grace - Black Roses Red

Becky

The Fourth First Post

2008-09-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

ahh.. a new blog. a new 1st post. come to think of it this is the fourth time i've written a "first post". however i still think it carries some sort of importance right? only because i think that if your first post was emo, your blog will tend to have more emo posts than happy, frivolous ones. but then again, that's only me! :)

so... after a very very long time away from the blogging scene, i make a much awaited return. you guys were waiting right?? tell me you were la! make me happy a bit. haha. i've been planning to start a new blog for the longest time. since somewhere in may i think. you know, the whole " start a new chapter in your life, so start a new blog!" kinda thing. i'm leaving for Russia in exactly 23 days time. oops, i mean 22 days considering it's now 12.15 am. so far being at home has been bittersweet. i packed my 4 bags and returned from penang last friday so the past 4 days have been filled with indie music, MSN messenger, homecooked food and just enjoying my new room since mum repainted it blue and chop the legs of my bed. no seriously. i had that ikea loft bed right and since i'll only be around for 2 1/2 months max in a year, mum thought it would be really really hard to keep it clean. thus she came up with an ingenious idea to chop the legs off and make it into a normal queen sized bed! my brilliant mother. sigh. what would i do without you? ;)

yesterday was most probably my last merdeka in malaysia for the next 6 years and lil ol' me spent it rather uneventfully. sigh. see la. so unpatriotic. but mind you, i love my country a lot!! like superbly. even if we have sucky public transport and stuff. but there's absolutely no denying that i love this country to death! heh. anyhooo i gtg. i've got a super long day planned tomorrow. nee dto reformat my new laptop in Midvalley. did i mention the boyfriend is in town? :) he's bunking at my place till he leaves on wednesday! nooo.... then i won't see him till the 24th!! which sucks. sigh. oh boyfriend, why do you have to stay in Penang? heh. and oh, i've decided to christen him with his very own blog nickname instead of always calling him the boyfriend. it's gonna be Whitey. only coz he's super fair and white and it would sound gay to call him fairy! haha. ignore my lame attempt to be funny! :D till next time which should be pretty soon! BUH BYE!!

Soundtrack: The Format - The first single (what would i do without you la PianoBoy?)

p.s: is anyone as excited as i am that gossip girl and OTH starts today in the US? which means torrents will be up by tomorrow morning! hell yeah!!! :)

Becky